Tag: flow

Synchronicity

Posted in Chapter 3, Year 2022Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , 2 Comments
Dolphins

It’s been a few days since I’ve had an inspiration to write something new. Today it came. Thanks to PW 50: ‘What is my relationship with synchronicity and what do I imagine is possible when I bring more awareness to the role it plays in my life?‘

‘For me, synchronicity is all about perfect harmony, matching movements, sounds that are totally in tune, aligned frequencies, umami tastes, moments when your heart is open, overflowing with love, joy, and trust. Things happen, I meet people I was supposed to meet, I end up in places I was meant to be – timing is impeccable.

Synchronicity is powerful, mesmerizing, it draws in, it attracts. For example, if we all started breathing following the same rhythm we would create a flow and become part of that same flow we created.

Just imagine watching 50 Irish dancers on the stage, tapping their feet at the same time, totally in tune. Or listening to a choir of 30 people singing a song, their voices joint, blended as one. How about the orchestra and all the instruments playing the same beautiful melody?

What about nature?
Watching, listening to the river can be incredibly soothing. All the water is moving towards the same direction, singing the same song, each drop of water is absolutely aligned.

Have you ever watched a flock of birds flying in the sky – or a murmuration of starlings? Hundreds and hundreds of birds flying as one, every single bird perfectly aligned. What an incredible performance!

What about two or more people brainstorming, coming up with great ideas, their frequencies matching, bubbling, in sync with one another, in their thoughts, intentions, working together, being part of the same flow

Synchronicity is all around us – we just need to pause, pay attention, and recognize it.

Take a look at your wonderful body, the movement of your legs and arms as you walk, when you run. It wouldn’t happen if it wasn’t in sync, not in a million years.’

Synchronicity brought me synchronicity itself. How much more in sync could I get?

Working through the 20 PrivateWork prompts has revealed a number of insights. It was a much needed exercise of confirmation. Now that I’m in that flow I want to capture every drop of it. Squeeze it out, here, on a paper, so every time I need to recollect and realign myself, all I need to do is refer to this moment. Come back to these words – to the space that binds these synchronistically infused thoughts. The empty, silent space out of which the flow emerges and carries on. To me, living words are the most beautiful art & science of magic that gets captured in a very special way, but not really captured because it remains free – always.

The words I read carry the powerful fragrance that is strong enough to bring me back to this moment when I digress. We all digress from time to time and that’s ok. We all wobble in life. Life is a challenging affair – we are constantly dealing with thoughts, information, never ending stories upon stories, emotions, we continue storing gigabytes of memory.

As if nature, the most brilliant architect I have ever come across, has engineered this game that seems to have no end, unless you take charge, unless you awaken, become more aware and start working, tirelessly. Until you expand your pause between the stimulus and your response, not allowing to continue reacting – re+acting. Have you ever thought of this word – it’s genius. It holds the meaning of itself – continuously repeating the same old act. We all react – until we don’t.

Instead of reacting, all we need to do is learn to introduce the pause – we have to master the art of expanding the length of the mighty pause, so we can allow the clarity to arrive – we enter the flow and we gain the ability to respond.

Relationship with myself and others is about being in sync with each other. When you’re in sync with your self you can be in sync with anyone. Even when they are not. Therefore it is my responsibility – it starts with me. Responsibility – ability to respond. Either I choose to bring harmony, peace of mind to this world or I choose not to. Hence, we all seek activities that help us realign with ourselves – and that’s a good, useful approach. For me it’s swimming, yoga, writing, meditation, dancing, being in nature, listening to particular music, horse riding, churning mugs on a potter’s wheel. For you it can be something else – find out what that is, because it’s more important than you think.

Synchronicity is a state of pure bliss – Ananda – no friction, no fear, no resistance, no control, no doubt. Responding while having trust, complete trust in the way you respond to the stimulus that came your way.

Skillfully, gracefully, with a smile, with an open heart. In sync, in tune, at one, in alignment, in the flow… back to oneness with life, back to the Self. Like a river, like gazillion droplets of water, all flowing towards the Ocean. Like a dancer becoming merging with music. Like your heartbeat, perfectly aligned with yourself, with the universe. Body, mind, and soul, completely in sync.

What an experience – what a beautiful life to be able to live like that. Now that’s what I call a life worth living.

In sync, in harmony, in tune with One Self, hence in sync with everything and everyone else.

Om

‘By and Large’ Attitude in Life

Posted in Economics, Year 2022Tagged , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment
Hopping on a bus, rainy day, holding umbrella

What does it mean?

Here’s the standard definition I found across a few dictionaries:

Definition of ‘by and large’: on the whole: speaking in general

What does, the ‘by and large’ concept mean in practical terms?

·       How many kilometers are between Montreal and New York City?  The answer: about 620 – give and take a few. It takes about 7 hours drive to get there. That estimation is close enough for me — no need to jump on google maps and divert your full attention.

·       What’s 397 x 210? About 80.000 – I’m simply going to round it up to 400×200. My brain works faster that way. If you want an exact answer, I’ll divert my full attention from our conversation and punch the numbers in my phone calculator.

My advice is only to divert your full attention when necessary.

The main message of this post is to notice our tendencies which can oscillate toward over-obsessing about details and wasting too much unnecessary time or precious energy. Very useful to know, so we can skillfully divert our approach when appropriate and necessary.

I got the inspiration to ponder and write about this phrase when I opened my Linkedin page this morning – Ray Dalio’s post on the 6th Sept 2022 (Understand the concept of by and large activity)

It caught my attention because of unhealthy tendencies I have noticed throughout my career working with people, and here’s my take…

When we over obsess about facts and details, we lose the original perspective – the big picture.

I asked myself, what is the foundation of such an attitude?

It depends from one person to another and varies across different areas we engage in – it can be rooted in wanting to be correct, asserting control, high-jacking attention, lack of confidence, fear of the unknown, perhaps there’s a degree of self-sabotage or punishment.

When you get stuck in details, you freeze and are no longer moving forward; you are no longer part of ‘the flow.’  You have got carried away with your obsession.

This narrow point of view is widespread in our society – it’s been ingrained and became part of our mindset during schooling. One point on your exam defines whether you have passed or failed the exam. Or worse – it determines if you were fit enough to have been accepted to the university or not. What kind of point-based system ludicrousness is that?

It signifies that we have lost the meaning of what matters in life. In this particular case, we condensed the meaning of life to a single pointed approach that can define someone’s trajectory in life. What a punitive, middle-age approach! (IMO)

Losing sight of the large picture approach is detrimental to personal, financial, spiritual, and mental health. This can include the economic health of an entire country.

When we get stuck micromanaging and marinating in details, this includes obsessing about our shortcomings, we lose sight of too many things that matter in life. That’s why I think – ‘by and large’ attitude – is something we should practice and apply more often – when it is safe to do so. (PS: please don’t apply this in a surgery)

Here are a couple of relatable examples.

Your kind friend prepared a meal for you. He/she added too much salt or slightly burned the pie. The veggies were not crunchy enough. Considering the circumstances, they not being a Michelin five-star chef, ‘by and large’ it’s pretty awesome and generous of someone cooking for you. Plus, you get to enjoy a wholesome meal with your mate.

Applying for a job – reviewing job specs, you notice a few expectations you don’t meet – ‘by and large,’ it’s ok. You can negotiate the rest when you get a chance. Don’t just brush yourself away from the get go. Buy some time to learn the missing points and other necessary skills.   

Having to quickly churn a report – considering the time you got on your hands – the rough estimates you were able to come up with are ‘by and large’ ok. If your boss expects a better job – negotiate for more time or some help.

Non-negotiable deadlines – if your boss is not willing to allocate more resources, you will have to compromise on the quality or quantity of the work. Make sure that’s clear from the start. What you can do in the given time with the technology and your two hands is ‘by and large’ ok.

You’re experiencing short-term losses in your long-term investment portfolio – considering the market downturn and your focus on long-term investments – ‘by and large’ that’s looking solid if you ask me. (PS: not financial advice)

Company employees… Mark is working hard, going beyond expectations because he’s driven – he wants to; Alex is doing just enough because that’s his capacity, and he’s meeting all the expectations. It all works out well, as long as everyone is happy.

Countries are waging trade wars, getting stuck in details, not budging, derailing the whole economy, stoking up another conflict – because they lose sight of the bigger, long-term picture, messing up the entire supply chain. Are these detrimental, widespread, long-term negative impacts? You tell me! What difference would it make to apply the ‘by and large’ approach in such a case?

I set up a few goals last year; my threshold was high to start with – I didn’t reach all of them, but I did great at what I achieved. I realized a few goals made no sense along the way, so I changed my track and kept on reminding myself of the 80-20 rule. ‘By and large’ I never lost sight of what matters, and I did not get stuck or lost in details, thank you very much.

Not that I’m not able to go into details where it really matters or when that’s necessary, but that’s a story for another day. 

I wish you a good day! 

The End

Posted in Chapter 2, Year 2022Tagged , , , , , , , Leave a comment
Woman, watching the horizon

Ever story that has a beginning has an end. It’s inevitable, no matter what.

Beginning and the end – they meet at the same point. Sounds crazy? That’s because it is.

Nothing really happens, apart from the stories happening in my mind. It doesn’t feel that way though. We get so invested in stories that we weave – physically, emotionally, mentally – that it feels real. It has to be, for the sake and for the existence of the illusion.

The more invested we are in the story, the more real it feels, the more real it is. The more infused, the more attached we are to the illusion.

Here’s an opportunity to check where you stand.
What are the areas that get you hooked the most?

Those are your weak spots that keep you away from going free, from being totally free.

It can be attachments, aversions, obsessions, beliefs, habits – anything from work, school, success, health, food, sex, family, children, music, art, relationships, money, fame, sports, spirituality, lifestyle, etc.

What is your drive? Where does your attention flow? Towards entanglement or dissolution? That is the key, because any of those areas above can either be a way out or a way deeper into the matrix.

All the areas are benign on its own. Innocent. It’s us who apply meaning to each area; we are the story writers. The weavers of our reality.

Is the story I have just written offering you a way out or is it locking you further in? It’s that simple.

Use this simple checkmark, every step of the way, with every activity you engage in, to help you understand if you are on your way in or out.

I like this thought, it offers hope – well, at least to me.

I can still have passion for things in life, but my attitude becomes different, my focus is no longer about getting all wrapped in. It’s about taking each opportunity as a lesson, to live and let live. To taste, to experience and to move on (i.e., to be). No stories, no attachments, no aversions. Just like breathing air – breathing in, breathing out, in and out.

The sun simply shines, it never gets involved in any stories. Our minds do. Love is – light as a feather – yet we tend to make it all heavy, complicated. River flows and somehow we like to mess it all up, butt in, interfere with the flow, muddle the waters.

The flowers bloom, the birds sing, the honey tastes sweet. They all are & do what they are meant to be & do. Just like you & me could – and still can. You get the picture?

Life is is an abundant representation of pure energy flow and look what all we’ve managed to achieve.

We reduced it to daily problems, lies, manipulations, dramas, struggles, events of joy or sadness and we marinate there with our presence, fully engrossed – sucked in. We easily forget what life is all about.

Our stories become more relevant than what is – we become most important, so that the illusion can live on. The illusion wins.

The beginning becomes the end.

Try – sometimes – try to let go. See where it takes you… the pure flow.

Om

“All that is gold does not glitter; 
not all those who wander are lost; 
the old that is strong does not wither; 
deep roots are not reached by the frost..” 
― J.R.R. Tolkien

The Power of Your Inner Resolution

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Campfire with 3 friends and a child

I’d like to dive into the following set of ubiquitous questions that are pertinent to so many of us.

How do we come out of drama? Why does my mood get influenced by other people’s actions or reactions? Why do I get sad, angry, irritated? I try to stay composed, but when I see someone else close to me being grumpy it disturbs my peace… what to do in that moment?

The power of resolution is within you. What do I mean?

It’s the QUESTion that drives the resolution. It’s the question that defines your stance, current situation, and your future. The question is your guide.

To start with – instead of asking a question “How do WE” – the emphasis should always be on ME! How do I…? The power of resolution is concentrated inside yourself. The correct use of language is important. When I start disidentifying myself with we, I take away a great portion of my own strength.

Imagine you saying to yourself, and there’s only you, nobody else – now WE will eat this piece of scrumptious pie that is laid in front of US on the plate. We will drink the juice from this glass. WE cannot – only YOU can.
I can eat the blueberry pie, as slow or as fast as I wish, with my fingers, with a fork, or a spoon. I can even have it with ice-cream, as an appetizer, main dish or a desert. Breakfast, lunch or midnight snack. I can finish it off by licking the tips of my fingers if I wish so. The emphasis is on the experience of “I”. 

It’s that simple.

A more precise question formation would be: How do I come out of drama. Now that’s a more accurate guide. Once you ask yourself that question, close your eyes and start tapping into your deeper layers of your mind.

What do I mean by drama? What does drama represent to me?

The answer is very personal to each of us, nobody else can provide that answer to you. We each have different backgrounds, level of tolerance, perception, awareness – each of us is bound to perceive life events and drama in a different way. What irritates me? If I remove that irritation from my life, what does that feel like? Where is this irritation coming from?

For example, my irritation gets triggered by me noticing someone smacking their lips when they eat, I start rolling my eyes, as soon as I hear that smacking sound.  I say to myself: ‘It’s been so many years and it still gets to me? What is this craziness, obsession of me even noticing that sound? Why can’t I simply let go?’

The point here is not about me trying to change someone because their action irritates me, but by figuring out what is it with me that causes that reaction? Why can’t I get over it. So much so, that I begin being irritated by myself not being able to get over it. The drama takes the twist, becoming even more “drama rama”.  

As I tangle myself in irritation, I lose my focus, my presence of what really matters. I become consumed by trivial matters in life and that is the price that I pay, being overshadowed by the mighty drama.

When I get irritated by something, it indicates my own inner resistance to what is occurring here and now. My resistance to get over the obstacle that prevents me to be fully present, to breath freely, to laugh, to love, to enjoy the moment.

Instead, all the beauty is gone – delicious blueberry or apple pie I am eating – I can’t even taste it to the fullest anymore. I forget about the precious comfort of my home, the joy of sharing, the sheer fact of what it took to make such a delicious piece of pie I have the privilege to enjoy eating. I totally forget about the gratitude that I am actually being able to enjoy this experience. Gone is the full experience presented to me by life, right here, right now.

All that abundance is being consumed by irritation, by resistance to move beyond. And it outcome of my choice – it’s a simple human choice. I can reset my mind with a breath or two, remind myself of what truly matters to me in that very moment and just be with that. Moment to moment. Being perfectly content.

Also, I often forget and underestimate the power of projection. Do you have any ideas how powerful your thoughts are? So much so they have the potency to add to the struggles of others by strengthening their shackles, with the power of your mighty thoughts, hence prolonging their current status quo. Close relationships can be incredibly powerful opportunities to help us transform and us helping the other to transform by noticing such nuances. When in a relationship we all carry the responsibility to ourselves and the other not to perpetuate the endless circle of samsara – suffering.

We all manifest our own realities – moment to moment we continue feeding and reinforcing our life situation by actively painting the seeds of next growth.

We all know the saying: ‘the more you resist, the more it persists.’ The intensity of my resistance defines where I am in life – the more I resist, the more challenging are my life experiences. Things get harder. The stronger I am as a personality, the more intense is the experience – for me and everyone around me. Until it snaps, it breaks, people fight, they split, life becomes a mess, leading to one big drama.

When you see someone being grumpy and jumpy and that starts to irritate you, you internally start forming a thought pattern about that person – a picture that paints them. If that’s a very close person, you share a bond, a connection.

Even when you don’t say a word, every projected, silent, intangibly thought has an impact. Do not underestimate the power of your thought; your thoughts can be as real as your actions. They have the power to influence people around us and their behaviour.

Thanks to your contribution, the grumpiness and jumpiness of the other can become a notch stronger and the possibility of the other person to come out of their misery just a bit harder.

If this resonates, and if it feeds into your reality – it could be that a part of you enjoys seeing other people being grumpy and jumpy. Be mindful to notice your deepest intentions; inquire into your actions. Notice if someone else is doing that to you, be the one stops this endless wheel of unnecessary suffering.   

Having all these insights, what does that make you feel like?

It makes me feel responsible for every thought that I give space to arise and grow in my mind. Not just my words or my action, which are the tip of the iceberg. The real stuff is hidden beneath.

When I became so obsessed by being irritated by the action of others, I lose touch with myself. Gone is my awareness – I’m totally into someone else. It also indicates how much I resist the change and how stuck I am in my own little ways. 

I have to ask myself another questions. Do I really want that kind of reality for myself? What am I like? Does my resistance to change help my general wellbeing? Is there a different way? I have a choice. Oh, the glorious freedom of choice that was given to us all, human beings.

Free will – but only when I become aware. How much, how often, and how long do I remain aware before I slip and snap again? I know I will slip & snap – until you no longer will. It’s like any other skill – the more we practice, the more skilled we become. It applies to every single action – baking cookies, painting, playing music, gardening, cleaning, designing, engineering, programming, or being aware.

My dear one, I truly wish you all the best in your life, because you deserve a beautiful life. It’s time to start imagining that and slowly bringing it into existence. My dear, only you have the power to do so. Don’t allow to get consumed and sucked into thinking “others” are the cause of your irritation. They are simply there to mirror your own perfect imperfections. They are actually doing you a favor, by helping you to recognize those imperfection, so you can work on it, let go, and get over. Life is much bigger and so much more magnificent than the narrow focus that might have temporarily consumed our attention. You have the tools, use them well and good luck, much love to you! Sharing is caring, there’s no shame in facing challenges in life. We’ve all been there, this way or another.

When you genuinely recognize and share your struggles, you invite the help that is needed to heal those struggles. You become open to receiving the many gifts this universe has to offer. So many gifts hanging out there, like ripe fruit, waiting to find their place. Isn’t that a nice thought?

Always remember, the power to resolving any issues is within you, always within your reach. Other people can show you the way, nudge you to walk towards a certain direction – but they cannot walk instead of you. Stay brave, you already are – you have made the first step by recognizing and asking the QUESTion. Stay persistent, keep up with it – one step at a time. Keep on walking and stay present. May the answers you derive at guide you towards you inner resolution. I wish you good luck!  

What About Regrets?

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Meandering river surrounded by mountains

How often do you catch yourself regretting something you should have done, but you didn’t? Or something you shouldn’t have done but you did it anyways?

You revealed your secret or you didn’t.
You accepted the new offer or you didn’t.
You moved to the new place or you didn’t.
You dissolved a romantic attachment or you didn’t.
You ventured to new destinations you’ve always dreamt of
or you didn’t… not yet.
You opened your heart or you kept it closed.
You allowed the kiss to unfold or you sealed your lips and bowed out.
You devoured the juicy orange or you waited too long
and the sun-ripened fruit was gone.
You said I’m sorry or you didn’t… not yet.

You are exactly where you want to be, who you want to be, how you want to be. And if you think you’re not (not yet), because you generated too many regrets, you are still exactly where you want to be. Also, you can still get exactly where you want to go, with more ease if you are willing to drop your regrets that hold you back.

You think, there for you are. I am, therefore you are. Being right here, right now, because when you are – fully here and now – there is no space for regrets.

Learn to strengthen your faculty of presence – become fully engrossed in the present moment.

Feel the wind breeze on your skin – fully.
Smell the freshly baked bread or some other aroma you may like, that brings up a sense of happiness.
Watch the birds flying, the squirrels jumping, branches of the tree swaying in the wind.
Touch your arm, massage your neck, kiss your own hand!

Bring your attention to something that anchors your senses here and now, so your thoughts may follow, so you can bring your mind home, here & now – yes, this is home!

Or simply – read these few lines totally engrossed – the lines I have put together with my fullest attention, for you, my dear fellow traveler, wholeheartedly.

Life is like a meandering river, full of life, ever changing. Never can you step in the same river twice. Never are you the same person again. And so is your life journey – continuously morphing. You can never repeat the same moment again, hence, try to live it fully, whatever that fully may be for you. Don’t compare your life with someone else or with your past self – don’t get lost in comparing, judging, regretting. Accept your life and every single moment that brought you here & now. Be grateful for everything that happened or didn’t happen in your life.

Why? Because in this very moment of time you are the sum of all the moments that have brought you to this point in life. A culmination of all the bits that have made you the way you are.

I would not be here & now if one single twinkle was left out. It doesn’t matter how I perceived that moment in the past – but it matters now, because although that moment cannot be changed, my current perception of that moment can.

And there is nothing else more powerful than the realization that everything is perfect, just the way it is.

Health, sickness, wealth, poverty, happiness, sadness, regrets, pain, suffering, acceptance. Yes, even your regrets are part of who you are in this very moment. Even regrets are perfect as soon as you are able to perfectly accept them and accept yourself for having them. And if you struggle doing so, ask yourself a question: ‘Do they serve me well? Are they life enriching companions? Do they bring me peace, joy, a smile to my face? Or do they make me cry and cringe? Being soaked in my own regrets what happens to me? Does it take away my ability to be more present, from living my life fully here & now? Do I need really them? Is it time to let go?’

What is your emotional state right now? How does it feel having to experience these feelings? Look into yourself, be honest with yourself – no judgement. Take a deep breath, hold your breath for a few moments, allow your thoughts and emotions to sink together, then… breathe it all out. With a sigh or two if needed be. Do this motion a few times, as many times as you think & feel you need to, and then, take a few moments to be fully present with yourself. Nobody else but your own self.

There’s not much else left, really. Acceptance, knowing you are here & now, whoever, wherever you are, whatever you have or not. Simplicity. Feel & recognize yourself fully, be grateful for being alive, as you enter the flow and you ride with the force of your own, powerful, life-giving breath. Simply, by being, remaining aware, for as long as you can. Move your fingers, your toes, your nose, your legs, shoulders, smack your lips, blink with your eyes – just because you can.

What an empowering thought. ‘I can!‘ So simple, taken for granted – yet – when I realize that no stone, tree, or building has that same ability & gift as I have, it makes me smile, I feel empowered and grateful to be what, where, how, and who I am.

As human beings we are blessed to dwell in perfect human bodies, we have brilliant minds, capacity to move, think, feel, sense, love, spill our hearts out. I can scratch myself when I feel an itch – and I am the only one in this whole wide world who knows that I have an itch, only I know where and how to scratch myself to sooth my itch. Hence, I know what freedom is, even if it has to start by noticing an innocent itch that never goes unnoticed and unattended. At leas for me.

You know that very well, we all have that in common, that’s why it made you chuckle & smile. Say ‘thank you life’, next time you get the pleasure to scratch yourself again! 

Fundamentally, life is good. Rivers flow, just like your precious, god/force/nature given life. Human beings – what a miracle and force of nature, such an incredible potential, so many possibilities at any given time in life.

One final conscious breath, lungs filled up with fresh air, a short pause, and out I go following my exhale. In with the new, out with the old! It’s the only way forward weather you think it or not. I am, therefore you are. I did what I could, and I didn’t what I couldn’t.

I try and do my best in whatever I do. Even if I have to say I’m sorry, I really didn’t know better, but now I do. I learn from mistakes, I let go, and I move on. Just like the flowing river. It’s the only way forward, not by being an obstacle to myself and to my continuously inherent flow.

Allow life to flow, remain as present as you can so you can respond accordingly at any given moment in time, do your best, and use your time wisely & fully & well.

Life is precious. It’s a good life. So, let it flow!

Om

Crystal Clarity of Mind

Posted in Education, Year 2022Tagged , , , , , , Leave a comment

Words: 1222
Visuals: Infographics
Engagement time: 5 minutes
Practice – Depends how much you worry
Shelf Life – Ubiquitous

What happens when our minds get cluttered with worries? What consequences does a cluttered mind have on us when we interact with people? How does it impact our day-to-day performance?

Quite a lot, I would say.

Worries are like parasites, depriving us from being fully present. They soak up our creative juices that are required for our clear-thinking and for being part of the creative flow. 

The more we trouble our minds the less we are part of the flow – which is essential for generating new ideas and the outpour of creativity.

There’s an easy approach to tackle this challenge by instantly resolving any arising issues – as they come, so they should go. The most important task is not to allow our minds to marinate in worries and regurgitate unnecessary thoughts.

When we enter the flow, we dwell in the moment of presence. For example, when you were a child, you were frequently in the moment. Next time you get a chance to observe a child, notice how natural it is for them to be in the moment.

As we get older, as we accumulate more life experience, we also tend to clutter our minds with increased amount of thought and worries, hence, there’s a good chance we fall out of the flow – to the extent where we forget all about it. It’s a well-known fact that we are all born creative, and then, creativity gets educated out of us in school.

Schooling focuses predominately on analytical way of thinking. Most of who have gone through that kind of educational system had to learn towards a narrow-minded result, which was either a right or a wrong answer set in advance. But that’s not how real-life works, because not everything is black or white. As children we also inherited various traits and behavioral patterns that were not always conducive later in life. Worrying is one those patterns that appear quite innocent in the beginning, but can soon turn into an unconscious habit. Here are a few examples we can all relate to.

Transcript of examples (4 characters with speech bubbles): 1. “I am scared of failing the college entry exam. What happens if I don’t get in.” <Worry> 2. “I have a rehearsal tonight. I saw that awesome girl on YouTube. When I sing, I don’t sound anything like her. My voice is not great at all.” <Worry> 3. “I got a bad mark in chemistry. Again! Mum will be disappointed. She spends so much money for my tutorials. What to do?” <Worry> 4. “I had an interview for this amazing job. I didn’t answer the first question well enough. What if it happens again? Will I ever get a new job?” <Worry>

Through my life and career I rarely received any useful advice on how to deal with worries. The best I could hear was: ‘Don’t worry, be happy.’

Instead of being asked the question: “What is the root cause of your worry, why are you worrying you and how can you address your worries?”

Here’s my art and science of resolving the issue of worrying and overriding this old pattern of behavior. To do this exercise, make sure to pick the best time of your day. Your mind should be calm and you need enough energy to grasp whatever comes up as you observe your thinking patterns. For me, early morning, after a good night sleep, works best.

Here’s what you can do to prepare, physically and emotionally.

One character with speech bubbles including the following text: Create the required space to enter the silence. No disturbance. Take a deep breath. Go through the questions, watch the ideas pop-up. Note it down. Paper, phone, iPad, whatever works for you.

This approach is useful when you have the time or you are willing to create the required space to do this exercise properly.

If not you don’t have the luxury of time and space you need to learn to work on your feet and become skilled enough to create the required space and silence whenever necessary to resolve the arising issue. Eventually it becomes very easy and effortless. Just like anything you master- just like riding a bike, you learn and you never forget.

You can do this exercise on your own or with a friend. Feel free to tweak as desired, as long as you experience the impact.

Transcript: Character holding a note with the following text: Ask questions Start dissecting Another scene with two characters, a boy in a wheel chair and a lady asking questions: Is the problem real or is it just you imagination? Why does it make you worry? How big is the issue? What impact does it have on you and the others?

Having answered these questions, I invite you to dive deeper and analyze the situation further. 

“How does worrying impact me physically? (e.g., unnecessary hunger, craving for sugar, cigarette, coffee, my arms get itchy, I get a headache, I can’t sleep, I feel tension in my stomach, I escape by getting lost watching TV, I start endlessly browsing through social media – again I escape, I am not present)

“When I worry, what’s going on with me emotionally? (e.g., I get sad, I am scared, I get angry, it makes me anxious)

“How does that impact my performance in life, at work?” (e.g., low performance, lack of focus, poor concentration, lack of confidence, lack of direction in life)

Can you notice if there’s a pattern in ways you respond to various events in life? Is there a chance you worry too often and too much?

“What do you need to change right here and now, to stop worrying?”

But most importantly!

Transcript: Female character holding a note with a following question: How can I immediately deal with the issue so I can free my mind?

As you go through this exercise you should be able to create some free space in your mind and feel lighter. If you notice the difference, you are ready to start humming the tune of the song: ‘Don’t worry, be happy’.

I would also advise you to learn how to harness and maintain the required silence at all times, by keeping your mind less cluttered. That means ¼ empty – just like your stomach – it works best when it’s not overburdened with food.

Important to add, you don’t have to absorb everything the world presents around you; all the sounds, interactions, people, images, information, sensations, billboards, and advertisements. My rule of thumb is, if I can’t remember what I have seen and heard at the end of the day, it’s not worth giving it my attention.

Use your natural power of selective attention and focus, to guard your sanity and your inner space, so, you can retain the clarity of your crisp mind.

Many articles and videos speak of leadership qualities, yet only a few I came across have grasped the importance of maintaining our mind silence and thought gap, which is recognized by the clarity of our projection in this world. It is a quintessential quality of any high performing individual in life, in business, finance, sport, music, art, medicine, IT, science, etc.

The same goes for teaching, leading, managing, presenting. When you are trying to convey a message that is not deeply rooted in your own understanding and experience, with 100% clarity, your recipients won’t receive the message in the intended way. The message was lost to begin with.

I think that to be a natural ability of top-quality leader we so admire. The quality of the one who is capable of capturing your attention and does not depend on PowerPoint or an orchestra of bells and whistles 

I wish you a great day, full of crystal clarity ahead!

Memories, Entanglement, and Free Flow

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We cultivate memory as a means of continuance (Krishnamurti).

Krishnamurti goes on to say that without memories our property, ideas, friends, family would not matter as such.

By strengthening your memory muscle, you cultivate your ‘me’ and ‘mine’.

The gap between the two thoughts represents freedom from thought, freedom from ‘me’ and ‘mine’. Timeless space without any memories is important to cultivate, unless we want to become entangled in the events of life and afford ourselves no freedom.

Krishnamurti’s perspective on memory resonates. So, having assimilated his throughs, where do I stand? Where do I go from here?

What is the level, the intensity of attachments I have towards my stuff, my possessions, my home? My partner? My ideals, idea of achieving a life scenario I so intensely imagine?

By all means, one needs a certain level of thought intensity to live, and to achieve important goals in life that enable us to live our lives in comfort we desire & require. With least resistance and mind interference as possible. While doing least harm.

Once I have fulfilled my goal – either way I perceive it, as a failure or success – how willing and ready am I to let go, to drop it? How nimble am you, how quickly can I move on?

Dropping it and moving on, puts me back into the flow – I become that moment again. The potency of my level of success lies in between the two thoughts. How do I cultivate that to achieve my state of no thought – the state between the two thoughts? The silence between two notes when playing a piano.

Have you noticed how some older folks start losing their memories? I believe it gets harder and harder to let go. If we don’t practice the state of no thoughts fear easily creeps in and takes over. You can even notice the change in people’s eyes, their stamina, their body language. Fear of losing themselves in this world. Insecurity and fear of becoming useless, worthless, the forgotten ones.

If you cultivate the state of no thought from early on in your life, you will get comfortable by feeling that emptiness and you will not have to suffer the unnecessary fear – now or later on. More than ever, you will be able to cultivate and enjoy ever longer empty gaps.

There are certain sticky memories we all like to hold on to in life. The ones that caused our suffering and pain. The ones that offered immense pleasure and joy. I call them both sticky, because we like to hang on to those memories, those thoughts.

We think they make us the way we are, who we are – that is true. They indeed make us the way we are and we become very comfortable staying exactly the way we think we are and for that very reason it’s easy to get stuck. The unknown is often scary – unpredictable, something our minds are not prepared for and because of that – mind doesn’t want it. It would lose its grip, hence the resistance.

In order to become freer, one has no choice but to first deal with any unresolved issues from the past. The things that lock your freedom and your potential is the memory of your past you hang on to and actively keep on bringing to the present, clogging up your current flow. Consciously and subconsciously. Do whatever you need to, to let go. Find the right help, or therapy, make sure you forgive, resolve, pay your dues, have that conversation or encounter you’ve been avoiding for many years, let go of the grudge, resentments, anger, attachments. Let go, for your own good.

If you can, in your life, try to choose the unknown as often as possible. Start with little things, something you find comfortable. For example, some new food or flavor, a new kind of pen, different ink, the uncharted path in the forest, talk to the kind stranger in the shop. Challenge your comfort zone. Anything that counter balances the strength of your existing reality and dominance of your current thought patterns that add to your status quo.

All those small, conscious steps you make along the way contribute towards your greater freedom as you start widening and deepening the gap between the two thoughts. Slowly, slowly, you begin understanding what it means to become a creator of your own life, choosing your own fate, instead of living the assumed one.

Widen your gap, choose well, and may your life, and the life of those around you be blessed.

Om

(Above is the image of the painting by my dear friend and an inspiring artist Edward C. Campbell – The Umbrella Man, link to his playground: The Old Mill)

Writing – The Journey of Self-Discovery

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As days go by and we look back, we notice traces that we have left behind. Some are visible, some invisible to the eye. Words emerge out of empty space, out of silence. As you read and engage, you get the feel of the invisible space tucked between the words we leave behind.

For this very reason I choose to write and create traces of my invisible thoughts, making them visible by following the wonderful process of transformation. Isn’t it exciting when you think about this whole wonder? Being born as a human being, we have this precious gift of thinking, reflecting, speaking, writing, sharing what we think & feel, simply by using the ink. The whole process has become so prevalent that we take it for granted. I think it’s a privilege and a miracle that we are able to communicate.

Writing has always been one of my main ‘go to’ ways of resolving many questions that have been brewing on my mind.  

Hence, it often feels like a quest; content full of questions, topics, and thoughts I have been struggling to comprehend, understand, grasp. Mostly questions about life, nature, trust, love, ego, courage, clarity of mind, suffering, pain, balance.

I feel that my initial burning quest for finding the answers is slowly turning into a flow. I have never had any plans of what I am about to write or when. It comes on its own, often in the middle of the night when I awake and I have to write.

Writing is like a journey, but without the GPS, or Google maps. I know I have to keep on writing, but I don’t know where the story is taking me. What comes next is always a mystery, even to me, and I am as much surprised as you are. I suppose that’s what makes it exciting. It feels like being on a journey of discovery through a written word. That feels nice.

A journey of self-discovery through reflection, writing, and sharing what I write. No plans, simply becoming a flow. What happens next ‘I don’t know’, I’m trusting the flow and I’m looking forward to all that unfolds. It feels special, it feels nice.

And that’s it from me, for now. 🌹