The Power of Your Inner Resolution

I want to dive into the following set of ubiquitous questions that are pertinent to so many of us.

Particularly the following ones

How do we come out of drama? Why do we get so irritated/ influenced by other’s actions, it makes me sad many times…? I try to stay away but when I keep seeing another person being grumpy it disturbs me too… what should I exactly do at the moment?

The power of resolution is within you. Why do I say that again?

It’s the QUESTion that drives the resolution. It’s the question that defines your stance, current situation, and future. The question is your guide.

To start with – instead of asking a question “How do WE” – the emphasis should always be on ME! How do I…? The power of resolution is concentrated within yourself. Once you start dis-identifying with yourself, saying we instead, you take away your own inner strength.

Imagine a scenarios whey you start saying to yourself (btw. there’s only you in this picture, nobody else) – now WE will eat this piece of scrumptious pie that is laid in front of US on the plate. We will drink the juice from this glass. Think about it – is that even possible? The reality is that “WE” cannot – only “YOU” can.

I can eat that pie, gobble it up as fast as I want, with my hands, a fork, or a spoon. With ice-cream topping or without. As an appetizer, main dish and a desert. Breakfast, lunch or in the middle of the night. I can even finish it off by licking the plate if I so wish. Me and my healthy “I”.  

It’s that simple.

Let me go back and form a more precise question: How do I come out of drama? Now that’s a more accurate guide. Once you ask yourself that question, close your eyes and start tapping on the door that leads to your data repository with all your stored memories and information. Keep on asking different questions…

“What do I mean by drama? What does drama represent to me, in my life?”

The answer is very personal to each of us, nobody else can provide that answer to you but yourself. We each have different backgrounds, level of tolerance, perception, awareness – each of us is bound to perceive life events and drama in a different way. What irritates me is different to what irritates you. So is the potency of our irritation and follow-up reactions.

“If I remove that irritation from my life, what does that feel like? Is the irritation coming from within or without – or can the effect be triple? All at once?”

For example, my irritation gets triggered by me noticing him or her smacking his lips when he eats. It’s pure bliss to him but I start rolling my eyes, as soon as I hear the smacking sound – again – I say to myself? It’s been so many years and it still gets to me? What is this craziness, obsession of me even noticing that sound? Why can’t I simply ignore?

See… the point here is not about me trying to change someone because of something they do that irritates me, but figuring out what is it in me that causes that reaction, that seems as old as time. Trust me I have tried and tried. And still, I cannot get over it. So much so, that I begin being irritated by myself not being able to get over it – so the drama takes the twist, becoming even more “drama rama”. Hence the tripple effect.

As I do this, I lose my focus on everything else around me. I become consumed by trivial matters in life and that is the price that I pay, being overshadowed by the mighty drama.

When I get irritated by something, it indicates my own inner resistance to what is occurring here and now. My resistance of getting over a small issue becomes the obstacle that prevents me to live fully, to breath freely, to laugh, to love, to enjoy the moment.

Instead, all the beauty is gone – delicious pie you are eating – you can’t even taste it anymore. The comfort of your home, having time to sit down, being fully amazed by the sheer fact of what all it took to make such a delicious piece of pie you have the privilege to enjoy. You totally forget about the gratitude that you are actually being able to enjoy this experience. You can’t even remember the love you have for yourself to allow yourself to enjoy – enjoy the pie, enjoy the experience, enjoy the life presented to you right here, right now.

All that abundance is being consumed by irritation, by resistance to move beyond. Remember, you have a choice; you can reset your mind with a breath or two, remind yourself of what truly matters to you in that very moment and just be with that. Moment to moment. Being perfectly content. From that state of being you can make a choice either to stay or to walk away if that helps, however – undisturbed. You can choose not to be stuck where you no longer want to be – internally and externally. Again, try not to make any decisions in life from the irritated state of mind, else the scenario is most likely to repeat itself in some other shape, form, and time. Because there’s been no inner resolution; and you well know what they say to be a valid statement: “What you resist, persists.”

Also, I often forget and underestimate the power of projection. Have you got any ideas how powerful your thoughts are? So much so they have the potency to add to the struggles of others by strengthening their shackles. You contribute to that with the power of your mighty thoughts, hence prolonging their current status quo. Adding to their misery they themselves don’t enjoy and try to get rid of. Relationships can be incredibly powerful opportunities to help us transform and us helping others to transform by noticing such nuances – powerful nuances though. When I’m in a relationship I have the responsibility to myself and the other not to perpetuate the endless circle of samsara – suffering.

Mind you – you manifest your own reality – you continue feeding into and reinforcing your own scenario, actively painting the reality, that picture of the resistant you that is stuck – possibly somewhere in your childhood due to some old trauma or conditioning that is preventing you from being fully you. You know the story about layers of the onion you so often hear about – that’s what it means.  

The intensity of the resistance defines where you currently are in life – the more you resist, the more challenging are your experiences in life. Things get harder (health, relationship, finance, etc). The stronger you are as a personality, the more intense life becomes – for everyone around you. Until it snaps, it breaks, people fight, they split, life becomes a mess, leading to one big unpleasant drama.

As soon as you grasp what I have just written, you will be able to see how, when and why. Aha! Yes, that is the “aha” moment indeed. I hope I’m able to convey that. If not, just let me know, I’ll try harder.

Back to the scenario presented above. When you see someone being grumpy and that starts to irritate you, you internally start forming a thought pattern about that person – a picture that paints them. If that’s a very close person to you, you’re most likely to have quite a powerful stronghold over them.

What happens with your projected, silent, intangibly tangible thought? Do not underestimate the power of your thought, because it is as real as real can be. It has the power to influence people around us and their behavior.

Thanks to your contribution, my dear Samaritan, the grumpiness of the other has become a notch stronger and the possibility of the other person to come out of their misery just a bit harder.

Seems like it feeds into your reality – maybe a part of you enjoys that. Be careful, not to feed that part of you too much and too long – else the one asking the question becomes weaker and weaker, to the point you get lost and you no longer ask but marinate in deep suffering and see no way out. Don’t go there.

A note of caution: As you’re reading these lines, observe your reactions. Sometimes regret or guilt may come. Remember not to fall into feeling guilty, spiraling down the victim mentality – just in case that occurs – recognize, it, snap out of it right now and redefine your thought patterns.

Knowing all that, what does that make you feel like?

It makes me feel responsible for every that I allow to start brewing in my mind. Not just my words or my action, which are the tip of the iceberg. The real stuff is always brewing beneath.

When I became so obsessed by being irritated by the action of others, I lose touch with myself. Gone is my awareness – I’m totally into someone else. It also indicates how much I resist the change and how stuck I am in my own little ways. 

Ask yourself another questions. Do I really want that kind of reality for myself? What do I want in life?

Being resistant to change – does it help my general wellbeing? Is there a different way? 

Again – you have a choice. Oh, the glorious freedom of choice that was given to us, human beings.

Free will – but only when you’re aware, which depends on how much, how often, and how long do you remain aware before you slip and snap again. And slip & snap you will, until you don’t. It’s like any other skill – the more you practice, the more skilled you become – whatever the trade. Baking cookies, painting, playing music, gardening, cleaning, designing, engineering, programming, or being aware.

My dear one, I truly wish you all the best in your life, because you deserve a beautiful life – it’s time to start believing in that and slowly bringing it into existence. Only you have the power to do so. Don’t allow to get consumed and sucked into thinking “others” are the cause of your irritation. They are simply there to mirror your own shortcomings. They are actually doing you a favor so you can recognize those imperfections, serving them to you on a silver platter, so you can work on it and get over it. Life is much bigger and so much more magnificent than that narrow focus that might have temporarily consumed your attention. You have the tools, use them well and good luck, much love to you and tell us how you fare! Sharing is caring, there’s no shame in going through struggles in life. We’ve all been there, at one or a few too many points in our lives.

When you genuinely recognize and share your struggles, you invite the help that is needed to heal those struggles. You become open to receiving the many gifts this universe has to offer. So many gifts hanging out there – like ripe fruit – waiting to be picked, to get to their final destination, to complete their life cycle. Isn’t that a nice thought? Yeah, I like it too.

Always remember – the power to resolve any issues is within you – at your reach only. Others can show you the way, nudge you to walk towards a certain direction – but they cannot walk instead of you. Stay brave – you already are – you have made the first step by recognizing and posing the QUESTion. Remain persistent, keep up with it – one step at a time. Keep on walking and stay present to where it takes you, the answers you derive, the resolutions you make. The power of resolution is within you.

That’s about it, I wish you good luck! And don’t forget whenever you need a friend, I’m just a holler away.

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