Nip it in the Bud

Girl in the Garden

Nip it in the bud. What?

Yep, that’s the best way that works for me. Finding the root cause of peace disturbing occurrences in my life and nipping them in the bud before they blossom, develop more seeds and multiply like rampant dandelions.

What am I talking about? 

Most of our experiences and learnings happen through relationships. The closer we get to someone, the more intense is the experience.

In life, we attract people we have either most in common or least in common with. They represent the mirror of either who we are or who we desire to be.

They portray our most accurate and current version of our own self – they are an indicator of how we see and perceive ourself. That perception might be accurate or totally distorted due to our own imbalances and misperceptions. It depends how we are able to perceive ourself and the world around us. It’s like a mirror within a mirror.

For example, over the recent few days I was experiencing a saga around doubt, to be more specific – fear of manipulation which leads to issues around trust. I got totally sucked in; my ability to think clearly became compromised as I began spiraling down the rabbit hole.

What was that all about and how did I manifest it?

I had to face some of my fundamental fears around my own insecurities. I got so distracted that I forgot who I truly am and what life is all about. Drama became more important than the simple fundamental truth of what really matters. Drama, that took away my clarity & peace of mind & ability to love and accept love. What a high price to pay. Any sort of drama we fall into is a life sucker that deprives us of the happiness we deserve – it’s not worth the premium it demands.

Sure, dramas are going to unfold as long as I have unresolved issues, which often stem from my childhood. However, life itself always encourages me to progress, go beyond issues that cause limitations, obstacles, preventing me to be tune with my true self, with the flow. To live according to my fullest potential and be the blessing to myself and those around me.

When challenging events occur, it’s entirely depending on me how long I choose to marinate in the drama. No matter how silly, trivial, or unsubstantiated that story may appear to be in that moment.

The question is; will I be feeding the hungry ghosts or will I pause, realize what is going on, shed some light to the matter, pull out its roots, bring it to the surface and face it. Not running and hiding away, but sharing it with my friend or partner who is able to hold the space by being present while not getting personal about my story.

How? Simply, by listening, witnessing all that is occurring for me in that moment, without judgement. Not analyzing, trying to interfere, or coming up with solutions. Just pure presence, being 100% there – for us. I came to realize that’s what trust means for me. Showing my vulnerability, being able to open myself to people in my life who I love, trust, who love me and accept me the way I am and know me for who I am. And vice versa.

When such response treatment occurs, the hungry ghosts don’t get fed and become more feeble. They start losing their stronghold and even if the saga happens again, its potency to pull us down is less. To the extent, when you no longer require a witness. You become your own witness and you are able to nip it in the bud, before it blooms out and starts spreading its seeds, multiplying, turning into uncontrollable weeds.

One piece of advice based on my experience. Try not to get too bogged down in your daily life – don’t work too hard, to the point when you exhaust yourself. Learn to negotiate your terms, recognize your limits before you reach your tipping point. Less is often more! Get enough sleep, healthy exercise, nourish your body with quality food, create moments of stillness where you can fully relax. It all adds up to the equation and leads to your ability of maintaining the required levels of presence/awareness, so you can operate in this world and not lose yourself while doing so. Do not compromise your base state of awareness with events that cause disturbance to your inner peace. Your inner peace is your most accurate compass. Choose everything in life that supports that peace: your work, activities, required resources, security, relationships, environment, people, home. We live and we learn, we’re all unique and only you will know what works for you and what doesn’t!

It’s funny how this writing became distilled into only a few paras, whereas, when I started pondering, brewing, and writing about this topic, it had pages upon pages of thoughts, stories, analysis. Quite unnecessary, really.

I can see how it all comes down to the level of my own clarity. Clarity sheds light to matter, any matter in life, hence the importance of maintaining a crystal-clear mind.

All the multiple pages that led to this final version can now be dropped. I was able to recognize the patterns as they manifest in my life story. I am able to grasp the gist of the story.

Simplicity is at the core of each matter. Simply stop beating around the bush, try your best to see things as they are, jump in and be willing to dive through the unpleasant experience. Ask for help if needed! It may feel awkward, unpleasant, and intense at times. That’s ok, it’s over very quickly though; impurities burn away and you suddenly realize that you have achieved another milestone in your journey towards a more beautiful, lighter and happier version of you.

What else is more important in life than your own inner peace while being able to fully share your life with people you love and who love you!?!


Add on, 2nd June 2022

It’s a delicate act,
this business of nipping.
There are buds and there’s the buds,
so you better polish your faculty of sniffing
before you get the hang of snipping…

With wisdom of recognition, you realize
some buds are meant to come to fruition;
It matters that they achieve completion.

So, good luck, my fellow nippers.
Have fun and make sure to sharpen your snippers!

2 thoughts on “Nip it in the Bud

  1. Nice post .thank you for writing down .. I totally agree on many aspects .
    I had couple of questions – How do we come out of drama ? Why do we get so irritated/ influenced by others actions , it makes me sad many a times .. I try to stay away but when I keep seeing other person being grumpy it disturbs me too .. what should I exactly do at the moment ?

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