Nip it in the bud. What?
Yep, that’s the best way that works for me. Finding the root cause of peace disturbing occurrences in my life and nipping them in the bud before they blossom, develop more seeds and multiply like rampant dandelions.
What am I talking about?
Most of our experiences and learnings happen in and through relationships. The closer we get to someone, the more intense seems to be the experience.
In life, we attract people we have either most in common or least in common with. They represent the mirror of either who we are or who we desire to become.
They portray our most accurate and current version of our own selves – they are an indicator of how we see and perceive ourselves. That perception might be accurate or totally distorted due to our own imbalances in ways we are able to perceive ourselves and the world around us.
For example, over the recent few days I was experiencing a saga around the fear of manipulation and inability to trust. I got totally sucked in; my ability to think clearly became compromised as I began spiraling down the unpleasant rabbit hole.
What was that all about and how did I manifest it?
I had to face some of my fundamental fears around my own insecurities. I got so distracted that I forgot who I truly am and what life is all about. Drama became more important than the simple fundamental truth of who I am. Drama, that took away my clarity & peace of mind & ability to love and accept love. What a high price to pay. Any sort of drama we fall into is a life sucker that deprives us of the happiness we deserve – it’s not worth the premium it demands.
Sure, dramas are gonna happen as long as I have unresolved issues, mostly from my childhood. However, life itself always encourages me to progress, go beyond issues that cause limitations, throwing in obstacles, preventing me to be more in tune with the flow.
When that happens it’s down to me how long I choose to marinate in that drama. No matter how silly, trivial, or unsubstantiated that story may appear today.
Will I be feeding the hungry ghosts or will I actually realize what is going on, shed some light to the matter, pull it out, bring it to the surface, face it, not hiding away, but sharing it with my partner who is able to hold the space by being present while not getting personal about my conjured up stories. Simply by listening, witnessing all that is occurring for me in that moment, without judgement. Not analyzing, trying to interfere, or coming up with solutions. No such thing. Just pure presence, being 100% there – for us. I came to realize that is what trust represents for me. Showing my vulnerability, being able to open myself to people in my life who I love, trust, who love me and accept me the way I am and know me for who I am. And vice versa.
When that happens, the hungry ghosts become more and more feeble. They start losing their stronghold and even if the saga happens again, its potency to pull us down is less. To the extent, when you no longer require a witness. You become your own witness and you are able to nip it in the bud, before it blooms out and starts spreading its seeds, multiplying, turning into uncontrollable weeds.
One piece of advice based on my recent experience. Try not to get too bogged down in your daily life – don’t work too hard, to the point when you exhaust yourself. Learn to negotiate your terms, recognize your limits before you reach your tipping point. Less is often more! Get enough sleep, healthy exercise, nourish your body with quality food, create moments of stillness where you can fully relax. It all adds up to the equation and leads to your ability of maintaining the required levels of presence/awareness, so you can operate in this world and not lose yourself while doing so. Do not compromise your base state of awareness with events that cause disturbance to your inner peace. Your inner peace is your most accurate compass. Choose everything in life that supports that peace: your work, activities, required resources, security, relationships, environment, people, home. We live and we learn and you will know!
It’s funny how this writing became distilled into only a few paras, whereas, when I started pondering, brewing, and writing about this topic, it had pages upon pages of thoughts, stories, analysis. Quite unnecessary, really.
I can see how it all comes down to the level of my own clarity. Clarity sheds light to matter, any matter in life, hence the importance of maintaining a crystal clear mind.
All those multiple pages can be dropped once you grasp the gist of the story, when you recognize the pattern as it manifests in multiple ways throughout your life.
Simplicity is at the core of each matter, just stop beating around the bush, try your best to see things as they are, jump in and be willing to bake through that fire. Ask for help if needed! It may feel awkward, unpleasant, and intense at times. That’s ok, it’s over very quickly though; impurities burn away and you suddenly realize that you have achieved another milestone in your journey towards a more freer Self.
What else is more important in life than your own inner peace while being able to fully share your life with people you love and who love you!?! You tell me!
Add on, 2nd June 2022
Is a delicate act, this business of nipping;
there are buds and there’s the buds;
you better polish your faculty of sniffing,
before you get the hang of snipping;
With a bit of a wisdom of recognition you realize
some buds are meant to come to fruition,
it matters that they achive completion.
So, good luck my fellow nippers, have fun and make sure to sharpen your snippers!