Here and now
I perceive.
Eyes receive.
You perceive me.
Your eyes receive me.
How? Is there a difference?
The eyes are the mirror of the soul.
They look to see beyond.
No likes, dislikes, aversions, or attachments.
When you realize that “Eyes receive”,
you too are ready to “receive.”
Fully, as it is – no filters applied.
Both, light and the absence of light flow through.
Such is my yardstick,
teaching me how to surrender.
Being soft as mud not hard as a brick.
The old is coming to an end—
the ancient one gripping tight,
as if nothing else matters.
As the grip of the old tightens,
the new can sense the waning hour of its rustic power.
The old knows, as soon as it lets go,
it has to give its final blessing,
that bit we call farewell.
The splendid bull
is standing on the plateau,
faced towards the sun,
rising from horizon.
The first few rays spill into the ocean,
just before the sun is up, above the skyline.
That breathless moment,
when existence appears to be standing still…
The ancient and the new.
A mystery as old as time.
What have I to learn from all that is passing by?
Decay, death, birth, a new start.
I give my gratitude to all that is fading away,
burning out, passing on its final emanating surge of power,
just before it’s time to give it up.
It’s time to give it up!
Your time, your rule, your reign is over.
An ocean of valuable lessons,
overflowing generosity,
kindness and good deeds…
All of it going towards new, fresh seeds.
It’s time to let go, graciously.
Out of the old roots grow the new shoots.
Come spring, watch the glory unfold in its full swing.
Roaring fireplace, several soft cushions,
the sound of crackling firewood,
a copper flask of water and myself,
gazing towards the blazing fire
as it eats the wood away,
sending vital heat my way.
Holding my favorite pen, I etch
the final few pages of my fifth notebook of this twilight year.
When the one starts starts,
I will pull out a fresh, new, sky blue one!
May the New Year be blessed
with infinite inspiration, joy, and strength
as we navigate through distinct moments:
joyful, challenging, struggling, healing,
messy, exiting, sad, hungry, happy.
May we learn, may we grow and become
wiser, suppler, more caring, and stronger
as we bravely sail on.
Out of the gracious Old
comes the radiant New!
Whatever happens in this world,
in my life,
to live by my heart, I try—
by holding on to my favorite pen
and a sheet of paper,
then spilling out my inspiration.
I offer that to you, to the world
without any hesitation.
While my creative blood’s on fire,
here… take it, drink, quench your thirst,
your heart’s desire.
Drink deep the cup of life divine,
imbibe each word and every sign,
till every fiber of your being glows,
and every breath feels like a rose.
Such bliss, swimming with the flow…
We are of a different kind, yet
you remain my muse,
the one that sets me free…
So drink and be merry!
May your life be richer
for this verse I offer here to thee.
Never have I found such strength,
to tease out each and every thought
out of the unknown into the world.
Writing is my dopamine-fueled hike,
a fix for my incurable romantic heart,
both my ebb and my flow.
And I sway softly between them all…
I wonder, do I really seek a way to set myself free
from the ocean of both bliss and misery?
My favorite pen,
will you help me,
show me the way as I sail through?
Can you? Will you?
I know you can. I know you will.
“Enough, you have made a fool of yourself,”
mind whispers.
“Silly girl, with her head in the clouds,
wandering in fairyland, round and round.
Come back to the ground.”
Where is this coming from?
Who am I? Who are you?
Who are we to each other?
This story has no end.
This tale is beyond my time.
I thank you for each
and every breath of inspiration,
guiding me deeper into contemplation.
Such fun!
I never know when
or where my next golden nugget is coming from!
All I need to know is
it’s mine to share with you.
Such gifts are mine to give,
freely,
to whomever I so will.
I choose and give it all to you.
Through me—if it resonates—
it flows to you,
and on and on it flows to someone else,
as far and as wide as it wants.
Softly, let it flow.
Full circle is always complete,
in love, in bliss, in pain, or misery.
Two moments are never the same.
Choose wisely what you do, think, write, or say.
The sum of its parts
is always greater than the parts when taken separately.
Togetherness is stronger when expressed as oneness—
when love is there,
when joy is the glue.
Or else… well,
your heart can surely tell
if what you hear is true.
I am not small or insignificant.
I am as large and as relevant as Life itself.
I am Life.
In life, there is no such thing as comparison.
In life, everything is Life—
Big or small,
single or multicellular organism,
there is no separation between
different representations of Life.
You are the living proof.
Mind is what mind does.
Mind is an innocent child.
It likes to play games.
It likes to find different venues,
in endless ways.
Mind is entirely in your capable hands,
once you become ripe enough to become more aware.
Awareness is like the perfectly ripe fruit
of Mother Nature and Baba Sun.
Each of us nurture that fruit,
that nimble child of ours.
Each of us in our own unique way and time
are just like fruits ripening in nature.
It’s that simple.
I love the scent of the ripe strawberries,
radiant red,
infused with sun power,
bursting with life force.
It tastes unlike any other fruit
I have ever picked directly off the plant
and delightfully packed into my mouth.
Eyes closed.
Perfection when it all comes together,
as it should,
as it was meant to be.
The journey of the ripened strawberry should not be forced.
It will never taste the same and you will know.
Once you have tasted the perfectly sun-ripened strawberry,
receiving the sensorial explosion in your mouth
with its fully intense strawberry taste,
you will never forget the experience—
even if time comes when you have to settle for less.
Life can be such.
All you need to do is close your eyes,
focus on that delightful perfect strawberry moment in your life,
and you will be able to recall its sense,
perhaps even its taste.
Such is the power of mind.
Appreciate all what you’ve been gifted to experience in life.
Don’t try to possess or take anything or anyone for granted.
Each of us represents equally significant part
of one permeating Life Force.
Don’t ever be fooled in misleading beliefs
or dogmas indicating otherwise.
Your every breath, each heartbeat
is your greatest guide showing you that you are Life itself.
Nuances are here to be celebrated—
varieties to make our life experience more abundant,
joyful, and complete.
Let’s celebrate Life!
Respect Life!
Like you have learned to respect yourself,
or how you would truly like to be respected.
Protect Life like you protect your own life!
Every bit matters.
You are Life.
Life is You.
You matter.
Life matters.
Rationally, we all know and understand that not all things in life carry equal weight and importance.
Yet, when we zoom in – we behave like emotional bin bags – we easily get sidetracked, depending on different life situations. We do that entirely by ourselves to ourselves. Sure, the stimulus comes from the outside, but it’s us who receive it, process it, and act or react upon it.
You think, you believe, you convince yourself that you like something – and that this ‘something’ you like is good for you.
Yet, when we’re not very conscious about the choices we make, most of the things we like are actually not that good for us.
Reflect upon it for a moment. You go crazy after ice-cream, chocolate, cookies, pizzas, burgers, fries. You forget how many hours have passed since you plugged into Netflix. You start popping cannabis gummies day in day out, staying up late at night. You get accustomed behaving in a certain way, staying in a relationship that doesn’t serve anyone well. You go on a spending spree, buying things you don’t really need.
I’m not saying ice-cream is bad, full stop – as long as you’re aware, conscious of your choices, you’re fine. When you manage to do, whatever it is that you do in moderation, it’s ok. But can you? Can you brace yourself from ‘just a bit more, a bit longer, one more bite, one more try, a bit faster’, and say no thanks, I had enough.
What is good for you? How do you know? Have you learned by now, what supports you in life and what not?
All the stories that you accept or create, they dwell and operate inside your head, inside your mind. It’s all in there – already thought of by billions of minds at any given second, over eons of time.
Make sure to differentiate and know what goes in and on inside your mind! Who is thinking those thoughts, what you are thinking about, and above all, what do you do about those thoughts. The way you choose to churn them out. Learn to watch, to hold the pause, to reflect, not to react, to have that conversation with yourself, learn to respond.
There’s all that and there is the void.
Your own void that you keep on feeding with all sorts of information, thoughts, beliefs, hopes that can suddenly come to an end. You know what it feels like, when you lose someone precious in life, and only realize what you’ve had when they’re gone? That moment in life you feel the emptiness that was not there before. At first, the emptiness feels unknown. It was absent for a while – hence you became unaccustomed to what living with emptiness feels like.
Emptiness feels vast, grand, magnificent, scary, unknown, uncomfortable, unpredictable.
Emptiness prefers to remain as it is. A black hole into which all matter disappears, out of which new life is born. The void has to remain void.
Yet, we try our best to fill it up, to cover it up so we can avoid facing the void – we a+void witnessing our own origin.
Try not to continue with endless ‘must fill it up with noise and activities’ – because that hunger never ends. You’ll get sidetracked; your focus will easily get consumed, absorbed by the traffic you continue creating – by yourself. It’s how we forget the reason why we have chosen to come here in the first place.
It’s OK to feel uncomfortable with the unknown.
Empty the mind,
empty your heart,
whatever comes,
let it come,
whatever goes,
let it go.
Don’t try to hold on to anything – in fact – accept that you can’t hold on to anything, not even your life. Life experiences will present you exactly what you need, when you need it in the most perfect, synchronous way. Magic happens every day, be rest assure of that. This is not about being passive; on the contrary, one has to stay constantly aware in order to respond to what life presents and do the best they can. Stay soft, perceptive, attentive, so you can move swiftly. Like the weeping willow’s branches swaying in the wind. Dancing to the music, ever so gracefully, without resistance, yet, filled with stability and inner force. Knowing that your trunk – your spine is solid and your roots – your origin runs deep.
“Be Water, My Friend.
Empty your mind.
Be formless, shapeless, like water.
You put water into a cup, it becomes the cup.
You put water into a bottle, it becomes the bottle. (Bruce Lee)‘
History repeats itself; it’s happening all the time, most of it has already happened before – hence, learn to become an observer, a watcher. Learn to step out of the repetitive cycle. Learn to see the life events, people, their intentions for what they are – not for what you want them, like them or even fear them to be.
From that standpoint make a conscious decision of what you want next – based on your needs, wants, heartfelt desires that are supportive of your life journey and don’t harm others. Remain cool like a cucumber. Like a seasoned gambler: ‘you gotta know when to hold’em, know when to fold ‘em, know when to walk away and know when to run! You never count your money when you’re sittin’ at the table. There’ll be time enough for countin’ when the dealin’s done.’ (The Gambler, Kenny Rogers)
My life experiences have brought me here, where I am right now. Your life experiences have brought you here, where you are, right now. Present, switched on, and fully aware. And thus we stand. Here we meet, we share what we can share. Plenty of human experiences, passing thoughts, knowing who we are, heart full of gratitude, peace of mind, soul strength, sense of freedom. One step, one breath, one heartbeat at a time. Fullness and the void. There is more that connects us than what sets us apart. Yes… I do like that thought.
Everything is as it is – perfect or imperfectly perfect. Including the vast, expanding emptiness that stretches my limited understanding of what it means to be perfectly at peace & free.
‘Sunyata’
It’s okay to feel uncomfortable with the unknown.
Empty the mind,
empty your heart.
Whatever comes,
let it come.
Whatever goes,
let it go.
“Be Water, My Friend.
Empty your mind.
Be formless, shapeless, like water.
You put water into a cup, it becomes the cup.
You put water into a bottle, it becomes the bottle.”
-Bruce Lee
‘Sunyata’
Emptiness – bubble bursts into thin air.
The sound arises from the void,
the self emerges out of the hollow,
The self returns into nothingness.
There is a space in my heart that connects me to emptiness,
to remind me of all that I am and all that I am not.
With that in mind, I begin reclaiming my soul power.
Without it, I am not.
I draw my inspiration out of nothingness.
My love emerges from emptiness.
It comes and goes back to where it begun.
We come on behalf of emptiness,
We disappear on behalf of blankness.
Emptiness occupies the space when we are not yet and no longer here.
Unknowable, unpredictable… I sense the unease.
Beautiful, enriching, soul-nourishing emptiness.
I know you, I honor you, your grandiose emptiness.
Sunyata
The black pen starts to sing,
and I begin to write
a song yet to be sung,
a song unheard by any ears but mine.
Teasing out my thoughts,
it makes me smile.
I never noticed how smooth and graceful is your flow.
Forgive me, I did not know.
The silver pen in blazing fire,
fading my desire.
Sweet are your words,
yet you slack in some actions.
Don’t grumble; be grateful, be humble!
Let go of certain expectations,
loosen up, reset,
and drop your idea of perfection!
Illusion is strong;
The spell is quite binding,
but no earthly attraction could keep me from finding
the truth you were hiding.
The silver pen in blazing fire,
smoke arises,
higher, higher!
All-consumed is my desire.
The nib is bent
beyond repair
and the ink that spills no more is spent.
I smile…
Life lessons of a different, peculiar digression
take me on a ride that I willingly take part in—
a side of me I no longer wish to hide;
The wholeness comes with all its parts.
Fleeting memories of a little girl
who once took fancy in a prince’s tale…
It all begins to fade away.
Has this chapter come to its end?
I gaze towards the sky,
the stars so perfectly aligned.
I hear the ocean in my veins,
I feel the coming waves
sweeping me away.
The tide has reached its height;
I can no longer linger, stay behind.
The bond is strong,
the calling of the heart
more powerful than any sound.
I don’t look back towards the shore.
My gaze steadfast towards horizon,
I break the spell.
My breath, my inner fire, my heartbeat.
My dear chaitanya1, unconsumed, pure, free, everlasting.
In my heart,
I reignite the flame
that keeps me present,
keeps me sane.
On this fateful, cloudy night,
I’m pulling out this stream of thoughts
with my good old black magic guide.
And that’s it for now…
Because no matter which one I choose or when—
black, silver, or white,
purple, yellow, red, or any shades of grey—
it’s all ok, as long as I don’t lose my way.
I thank you, I thank you, I thank you!
I thank you for always being here for me.
I thank you for showing me the way
to be and not to be.
1. Chaitanya (Sanskrit: चैतन्य): awareness, consciousness, conscious self, intelligence, or pure consciousness.
It’s been a few days since I’ve had an inspiration to write something new. Today it came. Thanks to PW 50: ‘What is my relationship with synchronicity and what do I imagine is possible when I bring more awareness to the role it plays in my life?‘
‘For me, synchronicity is all about perfect harmony, matching movements, sounds that are totally in tune, aligned frequencies, umami tastes, moments when your heart is open, overflowing with love, joy, and trust. Things happen, I meet people I was supposed to meet, I end up in places I was meant to be – timing is impeccable.
Synchronicity is powerful, mesmerizing, it draws in, it attracts. For example, if we all started breathing following the same rhythm we would create a flow and become part of that same flow we created.
Just imagine watching 50 Irish dancers on the stage, tapping their feet at the same time, totally in tune. Or listening to a choir of 30 people singing a song, their voices joint, blended as one. How about the orchestra and all the instruments playing the same beautiful melody?
What about nature?
Watching, listening to the river can be incredibly soothing. All the water is moving towards the same direction, singing the same song, each drop of water is absolutely aligned.
Have you ever watched a flock of birds flying in the sky – or a murmuration of starlings? Hundreds and hundreds of birds flying as one, every single bird perfectly aligned. What an incredible performance!
What about two or more people brainstorming, coming up with great ideas, their frequencies matching, bubbling, in sync with one another, in their thoughts, intentions, working together, being part of the same flow
Synchronicity is all around us – we just need to pause, pay attention, and recognize it.
Take a look at your wonderful body, the movement of your legs and arms as you walk, when you run. It wouldn’t happen if it wasn’t in sync, not in a million years.’
Synchronicity brought me synchronicity itself. How much more in sync could I get?
Working through the 20 PrivateWork prompts has revealed a number of insights. It was a much needed exercise of confirmation. Now that I’m in that flow I want to capture every drop of it. Squeeze it out, here, on a paper, so every time I need to recollect and realign myself, all I need to do is refer to this moment. Come back to these words – to the space that binds these synchronistically infused thoughts. The empty, silent space out of which the flow emerges and carries on. To me, living words are the most beautiful art & science of magic that gets captured in a very special way, but not really captured because it remains free – always.
The words I read carry the powerful fragrance that is strong enough to bring me back to this moment when I digress. We all digress from time to time and that’s ok. We all wobble in life. Life is a challenging affair – we are constantly dealing with thoughts, information, never ending stories upon stories, emotions, we continue storing gigabytes of memory.
As if nature, the most brilliant architect I have ever come across, has engineered this game that seems to have no end, unless you take charge, unless you awaken, become more aware and start working, tirelessly. Until you expand your pause between the stimulus and your response, not allowing to continue reacting – re+acting. Have you ever thought of this word – it’s genius. It holds the meaning of itself – continuously repeating the same old act. We all react – until we don’t.
Instead of reacting, all we need to do is learn to introduce the pause – we have to master the art of expanding the length of the mighty pause, so we can allow the clarity to arrive – we enter the flow and we gain the ability to respond.
Relationship with myself and others is about being in sync with each other. When you’re in sync with your self you can be in sync with anyone. Even when they are not. Therefore it is my responsibility – it starts with me. Responsibility – ability to respond. Either I choose to bring harmony, peace of mind to this world or I choose not to. Hence, we all seek activities that help us realign with ourselves – and that’s a good, useful approach. For me it’s swimming, yoga, writing, meditation, dancing, being in nature, listening to particular music, horse riding, churning mugs on a potter’s wheel. For you it can be something else – find out what that is, because it’s more important than you think.
Synchronicity is a state of pure bliss – Ananda – no friction, no fear, no resistance, no control, no doubt. Responding while having trust, complete trust in the way you respond to the stimulus that came your way.
Skillfully, gracefully, with a smile, with an open heart. In sync, in tune, at one, in alignment, in the flow… back to oneness with life, back to the Self. Like a river, like gazillion droplets of water, all flowing towards the Ocean. Like a dancer becoming merging with music. Like your heartbeat, perfectly aligned with yourself, with the universe. Body, mind, and soul, completely in sync.
What an experience – what a beautiful life to be able to live like that. Now that’s what I call a life worth living.
In sync, in harmony, in tune with One Self, hence in sync with everything and everyone else.
Om
Cause and effect…
Whatever I think, say, or do causes a ripple effect – it travels onwards. Often times I have no ideas where it ends, if at all. Just imagine how it’s all happening in a perpetual motion – continuously unfolding events based on how we project our thoughts on an individual level and how +9 billion people add up to the flow on a collective level. Can you imagine that?
It works like fractals with endless number of variations and permutations. Mind boggling just trying to imagine.
It’s easy to see actions and how one action leads to another – I smile, you smile back. Or words – I say thanks you, you reply: ‘you’re welcome’.
But what about thoughts? It’s more challenging to see the tireless working of the mind – yet, it’s the busiest area and represents the key to how your fractals dance and how your life unfolds. Tell me how and what you think and I’ll be able to determine the probability of events in your immediate life. But is that all?
What if this is just one of many lives our soul comes wondering through. Surely than there’s a law of cause and effect, so called karma, that spans across more than one lifetime.
The yogic scriptures say karma is universal. They say no-body can ever escape the law of karma, that life unfolds according to our deeds.
Yet sometimes it appears as if that’s not true – seeing some people living a carless, selfish, destructive, damaging life style full of poor habits and they’re still powerful, influential, wealthy, healthy, and look happy.
Could it be that at some point over their lifetimes they have earned a lot of merits? Their account has a great balance and no matter what they do they continue living based on their past life good deeds? If that’s true, I shouldn’t be fooled, because what comes around goes around and the balance keeps on changing. At some point they will probably reach zero sum balance and when that happens, life situation changes – usually suddenly and drastically.
It seems like karmic balance operates according to the most accurate banking principles. None of our balances diminishe or appreciates out of some budgetary interventions, deflation, or inflation. No one can take anything away from you, or meddle with your balance – what you earned is yours to own.
Can we do something to change our karmic balance? I think so. Karmic balance changes all the time. There might be limitations in terms of how much effort and how long it will take to get rid of certain burdens, but we clearly have a free will either to react or to work it out – as long as we’re aware. Between every stimulus and response there is a space of freedom that is always ours to claim – noticing that is awareness.
For example, you’re struggling in your life, you’re stuck and not able to live a reasonably comfortable life fit for 21st century.
The first step is to recognize the area of struggle. This might be related to your poor health condition, you may be experiencing financial struggles, you’re not having the most pleasant family life, difficulties with your job, you attract people that are not nice to you. Basically, you feel stuck in one area or another.
What’s the second step?
The second step is to acknowledge your dissatisfactions – things that cause irritation. For example, you have an issue with your shoulder and it’s painful. You may struggle with money and it’s causing your worries. You may have a shitty relationship with your manager and find it challenging being in their presence.
Step number three is to accept it – fully, in your mind and heart. I accept the pain that causes irritation, I accept my financial situation and my worries, I accept that it’s challenging for me to be around my manager.
Fourth step is to shower your love, all your blessings and attention into areas where you experience such imbalance. Sending and feeling love and kindness are your two most powerful allies that will eat up your karmic debt if you persistently and consistently repeat it. Along with gratitude for having been given this chance. How fast? It all depends on how much balance you have on your account and how uninterrupted is your flow.
Yes, there is step five. It’s called action. You may have to do something about it – change your job, undergo an operation, you may have to show your acceptance through some actions and change your behavior. But that alone is not enough to fix the issue that got you where you are in the first place – there has to be recognition, acceptance, genuine letting go, infused with gratitude, and lots of love and kindness.
Sometimes it may be your task to clear up generations old karma – it’s not an easy task, you may often find asking yourself, why me? Why not my brother or sister? Why me? It could well be because you are capable for completing such task.
Human beings – on a physical level we all look similar, however, on a soul level we may be completely different. Soul journeys can span across tens, hundreds or thousands of lifetimes. Rarely will the individual in this life time remember the journey of their soul through those lifetimes. Yet, you may feel as if you are an old soul – you are even able to recognize one, wondering: ‘are you sure we have not met before?’ This has happened quite often to me.
There may even be familiarities you notice, as if you have done certain things in life already, even if you haven’t. The learning of a particular craft comes very easy to you – feels like second nature. You can effortlessly understand math, you are naturally talented in arts, music, languages, etc. You can sit in-front of the potter’s wheel for the very first time and spin up a perfect mug in a first go.
Not everything is a coincidence in life. Certain people you meet were supposed to cross your path. Some stay for a short time, some linger longer, a few stay for a life time.
There may be times when you don’t understand why life has put you together with ‘certain’ people you find extremely difficult to be around. Well, as long as there is any outstanding balance on your accounts you will continue experiencing a particular lesson that always finds a way to trigger your reaction – until it doesn’t. At some point you will be free to choose how to respond – only you will know when you reach that moment. At that moment you will realize that between every stimulus and your response, there is a space of freedom that is always yours to claim. You became more aware.
Parents, siblings, relatives, partners, their family, friends, colleagues, rivals, competitors, students, teachers, children – we are all gathered here to learn, to grow, to become free.
In my own space and silent time, I had often wondered why have I been such a restless soul – moving countries, continents, homes, jobs, leaving behind my family, many beautiful people and friends I have met along the way.
Let’s just say I had plenty of outstanding balances from the past – my soul would not let me rest until I settled my bills. I learned that meditation helps, but that’s not enough. I had to go through various experiences in life to learn my lessons, to pay my debts – either to individuals, whole generations, or countries – serving until I was free to choose, to move on. It often felt like a burden, I did not understand why. Sometimes it felt like being locked in a prison, even though it did not appear so from the outside.
Either I was not fully aware, not unwilling to accept, or not yet allowed to understand. I don’t know, but I know I wasn’t free until I settled my bills. Looking retrospectively, I can assure you – there is no free lunch in life.
Some way or another you have already paid for it or you still will. So, choose wisely, when you can.
There’s one tricky part in this whole equation and a note I must add. When particular karma is over and you’re free to choose – your old habits, behaviors, and belief systems you have built out of your ‘karmic limitations’ may still be there and very much alive. Make note of that – there will be some work required to clear that up, so you can properly be free to choose how you wish to respond and live your life going forward, else you will end up creating more karma.
For example, it was my karma to be born into a particular family constellation I was born to. I was able to free myself from its grip at some point in life. After that came a more challenging task and that’s been all on me – I have to free myself from all the conditioning I have developed during that time in that particular environment and leave the past burdens behind. If I don’t, if I choose to continue behaving in the same old conditioned way – out of fear, resentment, lack of trust, anger, etc. I will be increasing my karmic account balance and I will be forced into the repetitive cycle once again – no choice. That’s how history repeats itself – it’s a genius creation of a perpetual cause and effect flow with a never-ending story.
Recent events in my life have revealed much truth to me – how acceptance, gratitude, love and kindness lead to more freedom. Everything that happens in life is an opportunity for us to break free from some sort of clutches that have most likely been self-inflicted at some point of our soul’s journey.
I rarely see my life from this perspective, but what are the odds of a girl born and bred under the Alps, infused with Slavic, Italian, Austrian, and Balkan culture, to end up living in the north east of American continent with her best buddy from the southern part of India. Both from completely different locations, family backgrounds, unalike in appearance, personality, traits, habits, culture, yet very similar in ways impossible to explain.
Why did life bring such two different worlds together that would otherwise have never met? Out of where did such combination occur? What are the probabilities, can anyone explain?
Yet, so much learning has happened in the past 12 years and particularly over the recent 3 months – I wouldn’t even know where to begin. Let’s just say I was finally able to accept my Indian family, the culture I once opposed and rejected. I feel very grateful for the opportunity I was given in this lifetime. It feels deeply liberating when the burden of constant irritation is gone, when ego stops complaining, fighting, resenting, judging, not accepting, feeling insecure, not trusting, and when I am finally able to see all the beauty and blessings life has stored for me.
This too is called karma – stuff – so much stuff. Some stuff feels burdensome, some is full of Ananda – bliss, joy.
And here I am. Reflecting, pondering, following my thread of thoughts, putting it down with my favorite silver pen, with a conducive golden nib, and the most beautiful blue green ink with golden glitters.
Thank you life, for all the precious gifts I am able to receive.
Om
Background: This piece of writing started off by me experiencing an overwhelming sense of anxiety in the early morning hours. It was the calling of my thoughts, the invitation to let them go, to let out this story that was throbbing under my skin, causing me to feel how I felt. It all feels good after I spill out the ink. It works for me.
How does it all unfold?
When that which comes, comes;
when that which goes, goes.
When forces fluctuate like fickle weather,
unknown until known,
right before my eyes;
when the sun means warm,
and the storm means wet.
At times I get the urge to grab my favorite pen;
I feel the bubbling story itching to appear.
At times I swipe the Notes app on my phone,
swiftly following my thoughts,
packing them all in before they disappear.
There is no consistency;
The passage of the flow is unforeseen.
It’s satisfying, to say the least,
by allowing it to flow
and being part of every written row.
How many? I shall never know…
Until the pouring comes to an end
and the weather is no more,
I say thank you
and close my notebook, laptop, or my phone.
I’m willing to walk the trailblazing expedition.
Witnessing such wondrous magnificence,
the scrumptious dance called fractals of fruition.
How, why, when? So many questions.
I have no answers to explain.
And even if I tried,
it often makes no sense to anyone but me—
Each to their own unique ways,
each of us here to find our own
how, why, and when.
You can read as many blogs and books as you may wish,
indulge in stories,
soak in all the podcasts, audios,
take in all the animations, videos…
It’s a nice way to spend your days
and I’m sure it helps achieve a few important goals,
but does it give you what you seek?
You tell me!
Have you found what you’ve been looking for?
Rarely have I found my unique self-expression through other’s stories.
I have picked up a few golden nuggets of wisdom, inspiration,
filled with thoughts, charged up emotions, associations, memories,
lots of learning opportunities, motivations…
Yet I find myself most profoundly resourceful when I put my mind to rest,
when I integrate, fuse within my own “out of time and sacred space.”
The answers bubble up when temperature is ripe,
when I am willing, ready, open to receive;
when I too become a part of this extraordinary, creative flow of life.
Just like the ramble you now read and see,
it’s not so much about the content I hereby submit.
It’s all about the flow,
so you can hop on,
bounce off,
and off you go.
Do your own thing.
Catch “it” if you can,
and use it well!
Background reflections:
How does writing occur in my case?
I suppose this process or point of entry varies from one writer to another. Lately, my indication has been counterintuitive… at least for me.
My creative flow happens when I get overwhelmed with an incredible sense of boredom; when I’m on the verge of entering another episode of dreading the current reality.
Luckily, I learned to dodge that bullet. All I have to do is take a pen or a keyboard and let the flow do the rest, allowing it to take me for a different kind of spin of my creative endeavors and exciting outpours. I allow myself to become a segway for the passages, the words, the stories knocking on my doors, waiting to unfold.
And that, my friend, is my secret of how I enter my creative flow—the secret that’s not a secret anymore…
So, then next time boredom, irritation, anxiety, sadness, anger, or downward spiraling come to visit, face it with a completely opposite and the unassailable force of uplifting energy. Whatever works for you—painting, singing, playing an instrument, dancing, chiseling, trading, moving, writing, cooking, gardening, etc.—spin its course, chart your own! Just try it out and let the magic of the flow unfold while you become the vessel for whatever needs to happen as you put your monkey mind to rest.
Have a great day and a splendid life!
@brigitree
To write or not to write…
Is that a question? Is that even a choice?
When the only way to ease the traffic running through my head
and feelings flowing through my heart
is to take a pen and spill it all out, at once.
It feels too unnatural, stuck,
and sticky when my creative juices are unable to freely flow.
I think we are a bunch of odd ones in this world.
Perhaps we’re spilling it out for the sake of us all
by having this special vocation.
Each of us responds to our innermost calling.
It feels like mine is writing.
And so it is, even though it seems like
I need a break from time to time.
I take a deep breath in, only to breath it all out again.
Noticing my breath makes me feel at ease
and puts me in the place where I feel at peace.
Like rain to the arid earth,
inspiration guides my hands,
A wellspring I desire and need,
it feels magnificent when it flows with ease.
In the drought of life, I seek anew,
the hope, the patience, to pull through.
With willpower, I break the binds,
and get the flow back, time after time.
Each dry spell is a chance to start again,
To ignite the flame within my heart,
I trust in my will to lead the way,
to spark my muse, to let it sway,
and bring inspiration back to play.
