When Lie is a Virtue and Truth is a Sin

Woman and a man, man wearing a mask, woman half mask.

Noble truth and dirty lies? OR Dirty truth and noble lies?

It is not about you telling the truth or uttering lies that reveals who you are.
It is your intention that carries the weight and determines your fate.  

What is the point of your wretched truth you intend to apply,
if your sole intention is to destroy someone’s life,
to squander them, to put them down,
out of rage, revenge, jealousy,  
selfish interest, or some other malice
that is brewing on your mind?

On the other hand, you tell the noble lie to save the lives of many.
With your kindest intention you tell me the lie that stops me from sinking in life.
Mother tells a sweet little lie to sooth her son to sleep.
Father conceals the truth so life does not appear so bleak.

What is your intention when you start playing your game?
Be wise, ask questions before it begins.  

Truth can surely be a sin and a lie can be a virtue.
Hence, it is the intention behind your action that reveals your direction.

When your intentions are pure and come from the heart, there’s nothing to hide, to worry about. From that moment on, love starts to flow.

Choose well, my dear ones, choose to be free! As free & fluid as you can possibly be! 🌊🤍🦋🙏

Truth can be a sin and a lie can be a virtue.

Some people use truth to harm others – their only intention is to damage their so called ‘opponents’. The information they have can be used in a terrible manner – putting the person down, or in trouble, taking revenge. Would you call that a noble act of truth?

It’s the intention that decides the outcome. Hence, truth can be a sin and a lie can surely be a virtue.

Mothers lie to their children to get them to sleep, to persuade them to eat, to dress them, to make them move faster. Fathers sometimes lie to their sons or daughters to conceal how much they are struggling to provide for their family. The intention is out of pure love. To protect, to ensure they get enough sleep, to get properly nourished, to arrive to the rehearsal on time.  

Remember – lie itself is not a sin, it’s the intention that counts and decides the outcome.

Lying can sometimes be a necessary intervention to calm down the energies and achieve what is in one’s best interest. Sometimes you have to learn to trust the person who had to lie to you because you were not yet able to perceive or accept the truth. Revelation of truth had to happen gradually – with time.

Eventually truth had been delivered to you when you were able to accept it and receive it. Some people understand energies and consequences much better than others, hence trust is the paramount. Trust to the extent that goes beyond the notion of trusting the words of the person you trust. Trust in not merely trust – trust is a creative force. When you really trust, life starts unfolding accordingly.   

This is very different to intentional, deceitful lying, purely based on liar’s self-interest.

There’s a thin line that should not be crossed – it happens when lying occurs out of selfish, dirty, mean intention. Petty liars, corrupt politicians, social media deceivers, cheaters, manipulators who want to squeeze you for a dime, precious energy, and time.  

What about relationships? Have you ever been in a relationship when you started picking up subtle clues, and began noticing that you were being fooled – something in the back of your neck perked up, you picked up the vibration between the words that was not congruent with the story you were told. When you are attentive enough to observe, you learn how to read the body language, you can easily pick up the clues.

What options have you got if that happens – when you simply know. I can share with you three I know of.

First, you can smile and say to yourself, this too shall pass and ignore it, because it’s too petty for you to waste your energy on. If it continues, try to find a solution together – therapy, coaching, anything that would help. No matter what, you stay together and help each other get to the other side.   

Second option, you can roll your eyes, say to yourself – I’m not putting up with this again. It has happened too often, too much, we’ve discussed it already, it’s having an impact on our lives. The consequences are too detrimental to our relationship. Your partner could be an addictive, compulsive liar, who needs therapy and it’s too much for you to bear. You don’t want to stay; you can and you want to move on.  

Third case, often the most damaging is when confrontations happen in the heat of the moment. Arguments, defense, blaming, shaming, shouting, pushing, running away. I say, you better avoid that urge and wait for a more conducive moment, because in that particular moment in time you’ll be confronting the ‘liar’, which often represents a fragment of their personality, not the whole. That rarely ends well. Above all, don’t try to change the person, because you cannot.

What about lying to yourself about someone else not lying to you when all your senses tell you that they’re telling you blatant lies. I wouldn’t do that to myself – I don’t think it’s healthy on a long run. But that choice is entirely yours.

Animals don’t plan to lie, deceive, or cheat – if you have spent enough time in the company of dogs, horses, cats you probably noticed that. For example, our dog Daisy – she lies, but her lies are too cute – she pretends she hasn’t eaten so she could get more food even when we all know her tummy is full. Or, she starts barking to get my attention, trying to full me with her story that someone is at the door. All along she was only craving attention – how cute is that and how common to us human beings.
Have you ever heard the story about Koko the gorilla when she ripped the sink out of the wall? Koko knew how to use the sign language; when they asked her if she did it, Koko signed it was the cat, not her. 😊 (Source: Koko the gorilla best stories)  

Many of us like to impress upon people our best possible version of ourselves. As humans we need attention, acceptance, and love. When we lie, we get scared that others won’t forgive our lies and transgressions if they find out. We are afraid that we will look bad or lose their respect, their love. ‘Not trustworthy – no love.’ However, if you really love someone – you can see through their lies, recognize their intentions and you will notice if they were innocent and struggling with some deeply rooted issues from the past. In this case, try not to judge – instead, be fully present, so you can help.  

Just like you would with a child who was not able to tell you the truth because he/she was too afraid they’d get punished for breaking your costly, favorite vase – and that too, by mistake.

Some people learned to lie because it was the only way to survive in the harsh environment they grew up in. Later on, they built their lives and sense of security upon that particular behavior. Hence, they don’t know any better, they subconsciously became the servants of the ‘shadow called lie’.

Or, there’s another extreme where people simply don’t care, they became totally numb. Or, they choose to lie out of some compulsive habit that gives them a sense of authority and power. I bet there are endless reasons why people lie. That’s why it’s the intention behind the lie that counts and the main thing worth focusing on.

There are all sorts of people in this world, extremes and everything in between. There are people who represent honesty, stability, truthful, authentic, aware, noble hearts – and there are those who are crumbling, patched up, deceitful liars with crocked, and selfish intentions. The more one oscillates towards the latter end of the spectrum the more energy and time they have to spend to upkeep their lies, to fix things, patch it up, while having to continuously feed their lies hungry shadow. It has the power to corrupt their minds, consume them, turn them into a slave of an addiction. Good news is, that everything is reversible, but it does require hard & arduous work. The question is, how much energy, time, space have you got left in your life and do you really want to spend it all on fixing things? Be wise, chose well.

What about you?

Have you built any fragments of your personality that is based on crooked intentions, where you hide behind your lies, deceits, or manipulation? Try and identify which part – if there is such a part. Is it in your relationship to your partner, to parents, relatives, certain people or particular friends, to authority, colleagues, to yourself, with regards to your health, work, eating habits, when trying to impress others, etc.? Yes, you can be fooling yourself directly as well.

Looking in the past I had a strong urge to be accepted by people. I tried to impress upon – the more I tried to conform to various expectations and standards, the more I failed. I was oozing out the lack of authenticity, and above all I was deceiving myself about being something or someone I was not. Little did I know that I didn’t have to try, because I was special just the way I was. The same way as you are special & precious, just the way you are. They eyes can see, the ears can hear, the nose can smell, the tongue can taste, the skin can sense, but the heart – the heart simply knows.  

One thing you can take away in case you struggle with trust. You can trust anyone according to their level of consciousness at any given time. However, know that may change. Also know, that your assessment depends upon your level of consciousness and your creative force at any given time. Hence, know who you are, be and remain who you are, love yourself and you will never struggle knowing the other – the other – the most accurate mirror reflection of who you are in your life.   

I hope I was able to shed some light on this particular wide spread phenomenon from a slightly different angle. I certainly taught myself a lot, pondering about this topic while writing this ubiquitous piece.   

When your intentions are pure and come from the heart, there’s no need to hide, or worry about. It’s what matters in any relationship – the depth and the level of your authenticity and transparency. The place & space where you are love and not just a feeling, or recollection or memory of love.

Developing your ability to recognize the intention behind words is something you can bring to your attention. When it slips into your awareness it becomes a useful communication tool that provides valuable insights – just in case it’s time to clear the space with kind intervention and compassionate inquiry… 😊

…with love ❤️


Learnings from Pain and Suffering

I am aware that we all have our own perception of our own unique experiences in our life. Stories I write come from my own unique experience, my own perception of life.

I wrote this piece on the 25th of March and for some reason I thought it was Mother’s Day. But it wasn’t – well – it was in a way, because for me, Mother’s Day is every day. So, I guess that’s ok.

My today’s thoughts and writing are about my mother and my father. I may have written about love, peace of mind, trust, and compassion. The uplifting states of being we all enjoy experiencing in life. But that doesn’t mean there’s no fear, pain, and suffering. In the world we live – the world of duality, it appears like one side does not exist without the other.

I have witnessed and experienced a fair share of both, pain and suffering, as well as peace and joy. As I write these stories I try to remain in the middle, and I try to understand the world inside and around me as the teeter totter sways. I try.

One thing I’m still hoping to understand is why so many people who have experienced a lot of pain and suffering continue paying it forward and allowing their pain and suffering to spread through them – onto others.

Perhaps some people still carry a whole lot of pain, and they’re simply trying to lighten up their own burden? Basically, by living, we share what you have – and if that represents a big part of what someone has, if that is what they are made of – than, that is what they are able to spread and share.

Have I just answered my question? In a way. Still, my curiosity is wanting to dig deeper.

I can clearly see a distinction between the actions of individuals who have brought their pain and suffering to their awareness and stopped the spread, and the reactions of those who still haven’t, yet are on the way.

Sometimes they simply haven’t had a chance to do so, life has not yet afforded them with enough space for self-reflection. Their lives were too busy, existential needs were more important. And eventually, pain and suffering trickled down so deep that even when they would have the required time and space, they could no longer see it, reach it. The deeper our pains and sufferings slip in, the harder it is to shake it up and bring it up to the surface, where we can face it. It takes a lot – sometimes an accident, a burnout, or a disease such as cancer or a stroke, paralysis, sometimes death itself. That’s a difficult way to go.

Even if someone else is able to see how much you struggle inside and wants to help you, while you still have a chance, no one can change your destiny. One can only fully accept you as you are, love you, stand by your side, nudge you, support you, show you the way, the door, hoping you will see that door and walk though. Yet, to walk you have to be ready and make a first step.

In this day and age there is a lot of suffering and pain. According to Vedic tradition, we live in Kali Yuga – the timespan of ca 5800 years where suffering, anger, aggression, and pain dominate the age; all that is accompanied by dulled down awareness.

Individuals, elites, families who rule the world during Kali Yuga represent what is often considered to be cruel, ruthless, greedy, and corrupt. I suppose it’s their time and they want to make the best of their party.

Luckily, everything has a beginning and an end – just like a sausage – vegan, vegetarian, or meat one – and we are coming to an end of this era, in a few hundred years – or so the Vedic scriptures say. However, right now, we are here and now, and that’s where we live.

During these times, there are a few who are able to see through ‘Kali’ veil of illusion. Some are here to shine bright and remind us of the light, some rebel, a few succeed, some are squashed. There are those who watch and do things inconspicuously, work on their self. Each of us, we are all an expression of the same self, all are important and as such, none should be compared.

Luckily, even during Kali Yuga, we can always choose our own allegiance. It can be lonely though, it’s not always easy to find a supporting community and people around you; still, one has to try.  

A few days ago, I had a chat with a friend from university times when I was still living in Slovenia. (I’ve been living abroad for over 20 years now.) Our conversation brought up a few interesting points. Particularly the realization about repression that often leads to pain and suffering. I have experienced that in my childhood, throughout my youth, even as a citizen of the country I was born in.

Environment we grow up in paints our reality, hence, it is important to put things into perspective and include the historical and cultural view – among many others. For example, Slovenia, the country I grew up in, is a small nation of 2 million people that have always been repressed – ever since the Illyrian tribes settled down under the Alps. It started with the Roman Empire, continued with the Habsburg Monarchy, the Austro-Hungarian Empire, Yugoslavian federation. Until today when Slovenia is still ruled, this time by the EU.

Although the culture of the nation remains strong – the Slovenian language, unique to Slovenia only – is spoken by 2 million people in this world and has survived over millennia. So has the kindness, tenacity, and resilience of its people. I suppose having to go through hard times makes us grow a turtle shell that is hard to penetrate even if someone has been stomping all over you for a very long time.
Hehe, I had quite a reaction the other day – someone I met was showing me a video of him standing on the top of his pet giant tortoise, luring him with the carrot on a stick, making him move. I called him a brut and thought he was a bully. Eeek, that was a bit harsh of me.  No wonder I had a reaction, it reminded me of what it was like growing up while feeling my authenticity was being repressed.

In addition to the country where you grew up, if either of your parents have experienced being repressed when they were children, there’s a good chance you carry the legacy of repression, of some sort. Important to add, it’s not their fault, there’s no one to blame here. They simply inherited certain behaviour patterns from their parents and probably never had a chance to contemplate about it and get over it. Whereas I do, and that’s one of the reasons I started to write.

For example, my dad spent his first four years of his life in a Nazi labor camp. I can’t even imagine what that was like or what his mother, my grandmother was going through while having to nurse and take care of the little baby. Did she even have time to look after him? Was she living under constant fear? Did she have enough food, was she warm enough? What all she had to endure physically? What kind of emotional states was she going through day in day out? During those 4 long years…

Sadly, she passed away before I was born and I never had a chance to have this conversation. My father passed away when I was 10, so I couldn’t hear his story either. I have only felt their pain. Today, all I can hope is that their souls can rest in peace.  

Unfortunately, while my father was alive, his poor soul was as restless as a soul of a caged wild animal that never had a chance to experience freedom when freedom wanted and needed to be experienced.

Later on, he did experience freedom, however, that freedom was experienced out of resentment of having been repressed – not from the space of freedom. This wouldn’t be the case had he not experienced such restraints during his childhood. I think that extreme repressions in childhood leave deep scars, cause damage, and can change people forever. The wild animal within us can become very hostile.

We are all human beings, many of us still get triggered, and we all have different emotional reactions that may not be acceptable in certain situations in society we live in. Like, in school, or at work – if you are angry, you are not allowed to express your anger and range – well, unless you’re ok to deal with the consequences. Hence, it often happens that we don’t know how to deal with our own emotions – at least I never learned that in school. We tend to hide away what is really going on, we learn to put on a mask, a show, and we act. But even as such, at some point, masks are bound to fall off, because they are not strong enough to last and that’s when the ‘beast’ or the ‘hungry ghost’ comes out even more furious. Because it has been restrained.

This keeps on perpetuating and people can get more mad and confused – sometimes to the extent when they’re no longer able to control their emotions, tension, anger. Their anger can become so powerful that they develop the potency to change the air of the room they enter, making everybody shiver from fear. Most often this happens at home, behind the walls, where no one else can see and hear.

A lot of patience, love, and acceptance is needed to soothe the animal, to allow it to realize it’s safe to live, to be, so it can soften up. Life can become difficult under such circumstances if people don’t start recognizing, dealing with, and healing their emotional imbalances. For them and everyone around – the children, their mother, the whole family.

I have experienced a few moments of rage that made me tremble from fear. Of course, we also had great moments of joy and celebration, laughter, happiness, dance, and song. It wasn’t just tears and fear, it was everything, full roller-coaster ride, as I’m sure is the case with most families – to a different extent. Still – today – grown up as I am, I see how certain, particularly charged emotions carry the potency of hurting people when they’re still children. Anger & aggression cause damage and should not have a place in anyone’s home – in the ideal world. But that’s not the world we live in and sometimes we just have to learn how to deal with the consequences and reverse those negative impacts that might have happened while we were children. In order to heal and end this perpetual curse.

The wounds inflicted by horrors of war can last for decades. Second world war ended in 1945 – that is nearly 80 years ago. However, the pain and suffering inflicted upon people did not yet come to an end. And the history repeats. Just when the younger generations might have healed or began healing the wounds they inherited from their parent and grandparents, the bombing starts again.

I wonder, what is it with the rulers and leaders of Kali Yuga? Do they feast on pain and suffering of people on this earth? Is this how they derive their pleasure? To see others in perpetual pain and suffering? It appears as if they particularly like to target the Slavic womb – and have been doing so for ages. Or any other nation with a strong expression of their soul.

I suppose it must be quite irritating for the pleasure devouring, hungry souls when they don’t have something they so deeply and secretly crave for and desire. At the same time, they know very well that something so sacred is too far-fetched for them to acquire – due to consequences of their own past choices and deeds. So much so, they start resenting seeing that in others. They become destructive, wanting to possess, and harvest; even when they know it will be nothing but a fleeting, temporary fix and never theirs to possess. I remember seeing such tendencies in a few people in my life. Have you?

Back to my story…

Yet the power of the fierce soul continues shining through, it resists being taken over, and is rising all over again. Just like the sun; just like Phoenix rising from the ashes. Emerging more powerful, smarter, and stronger. It’s all a matter of time.

Thinking it was Mother’s Day I had to add a flavor of my father’s story. That’s because he was a child of his mother; but also because happiness of my mother very much depended on my father’s emotional state. So it was, and still is in many cases, particularly when it comes to – less or more – dysfunctional families.

My life has changed significantly since I was a child. Luckily, I’m in a much better place when I was when I left home.

My mum came over last year, to visit. She stayed with us; a bit over a month. At some point during her stay, she told me that I’m very lucky, because I live in a fairy tale. You see, even to this day, she still can’t fully understand that a household without tension, shouting, anger, fear, stress, resentments, where some people are being taken for granted, and taken advantage of, is NOT a fairy tale. It should be a normal way of living and being – in every home, in every household.

It took weeks before she could finally ease and experience the freedom of being. And then, it was time to return back to her own home. I’m glad, even if it happened for a day, or two, or three. I’m fortunate that we were able to offer her that space – for her to get a taste of peaceful, harmonious, and loving home. It was all worth it. In her heart she knows it is possible and once someone tastes that peace, their hearts begins to heal. I know for sure, that next time she comes over, she’ll be able to enjoy even more!

I love my mother very much, and I wish her well. Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers in this world, whenever that day is, but most importantly happy, loving & peaceful mother’s day every day!