When Lie is a Virtue and Truth is a Sin

Woman and a man, man wearing a mask, woman half mask.

Noble truth and dirty lies? OR Dirty truth and noble lies?

It is not about you telling the truth or uttering lies that reveals who you are.
It is your intention that carries the weight and determines your fate.  

What is the point of your wretched truth you intend to apply,
if your sole intention is to destroy someone’s life,
to squander them, to put them down,
out of rage, revenge, jealousy,  
selfish interest, or some other malice
that is brewing on your mind?

On the other hand, you tell the noble lie to save the lives of many.
With your kindest intention you tell me the lie that stops me from sinking in life.
Mother tells a sweet little lie to sooth her son to sleep.
Father conceals the truth so life does not appear so bleak.

What is your intention when you start playing your game?
Be wise, ask questions before it begins.  

Truth can surely be a sin and a lie can be a virtue.
Hence, it is the intention behind your action that reveals your direction.

When your intentions are pure and come from the heart, there’s nothing to hide, to worry about. From that moment on, love starts to flow.

Choose well, my dear ones, choose to be free! As free & fluid as you can possibly be! 🌊🤍🦋🙏

Truth can be a sin and a lie can be a virtue.

Some people use truth to harm others – their only intention is to damage their so called ‘opponents’. The information they have can be used in a terrible manner – putting the person down, or in trouble, taking revenge. Would you call that a noble act of truth?

It’s the intention that decides the outcome. Hence, truth can be a sin and a lie can surely be a virtue.

Mothers lie to their children to get them to sleep, to persuade them to eat, to dress them, to make them move faster. Fathers sometimes lie to their sons or daughters to conceal how much they are struggling to provide for their family. The intention is out of pure love. To protect, to ensure they get enough sleep, to get properly nourished, to arrive to the rehearsal on time.  

Remember – lie itself is not a sin, it’s the intention that counts and decides the outcome.

Lying can sometimes be a necessary intervention to calm down the energies and achieve what is in one’s best interest. Sometimes you have to learn to trust the person who had to lie to you because you were not yet able to perceive or accept the truth. Revelation of truth had to happen gradually – with time.

Eventually truth had been delivered to you when you were able to accept it and receive it. Some people understand energies and consequences much better than others, hence trust is the paramount. Trust to the extent that goes beyond the notion of trusting the words of the person you trust. Trust in not merely trust – trust is a creative force. When you really trust, life starts unfolding accordingly.   

This is very different to intentional, deceitful lying, purely based on liar’s self-interest.

There’s a thin line that should not be crossed – it happens when lying occurs out of selfish, dirty, mean intention. Petty liars, corrupt politicians, social media deceivers, cheaters, manipulators who want to squeeze you for a dime, precious energy, and time.  

What about relationships? Have you ever been in a relationship when you started picking up subtle clues, and began noticing that you were being fooled – something in the back of your neck perked up, you picked up the vibration between the words that was not congruent with the story you were told. When you are attentive enough to observe, you learn how to read the body language, you can easily pick up the clues.

What options have you got if that happens – when you simply know. I can share with you three I know of.

First, you can smile and say to yourself, this too shall pass and ignore it, because it’s too petty for you to waste your energy on. If it continues, try to find a solution together – therapy, coaching, anything that would help. No matter what, you stay together and help each other get to the other side.   

Second option, you can roll your eyes, say to yourself – I’m not putting up with this again. It has happened too often, too much, we’ve discussed it already, it’s having an impact on our lives. The consequences are too detrimental to our relationship. Your partner could be an addictive, compulsive liar, who needs therapy and it’s too much for you to bear. You don’t want to stay; you can and you want to move on.  

Third case, often the most damaging is when confrontations happen in the heat of the moment. Arguments, defense, blaming, shaming, shouting, pushing, running away. I say, you better avoid that urge and wait for a more conducive moment, because in that particular moment in time you’ll be confronting the ‘liar’, which often represents a fragment of their personality, not the whole. That rarely ends well. Above all, don’t try to change the person, because you cannot.

What about lying to yourself about someone else not lying to you when all your senses tell you that they’re telling you blatant lies. I wouldn’t do that to myself – I don’t think it’s healthy on a long run. But that choice is entirely yours.

Animals don’t plan to lie, deceive, or cheat – if you have spent enough time in the company of dogs, horses, cats you probably noticed that. For example, our dog Daisy – she lies, but her lies are too cute – she pretends she hasn’t eaten so she could get more food even when we all know her tummy is full. Or, she starts barking to get my attention, trying to full me with her story that someone is at the door. All along she was only craving attention – how cute is that and how common to us human beings.
Have you ever heard the story about Koko the gorilla when she ripped the sink out of the wall? Koko knew how to use the sign language; when they asked her if she did it, Koko signed it was the cat, not her. 😊 (Source: Koko the gorilla best stories)  

Many of us like to impress upon people our best possible version of ourselves. As humans we need attention, acceptance, and love. When we lie, we get scared that others won’t forgive our lies and transgressions if they find out. We are afraid that we will look bad or lose their respect, their love. ‘Not trustworthy – no love.’ However, if you really love someone – you can see through their lies, recognize their intentions and you will notice if they were innocent and struggling with some deeply rooted issues from the past. In this case, try not to judge – instead, be fully present, so you can help.  

Just like you would with a child who was not able to tell you the truth because he/she was too afraid they’d get punished for breaking your costly, favorite vase – and that too, by mistake.

Some people learned to lie because it was the only way to survive in the harsh environment they grew up in. Later on, they built their lives and sense of security upon that particular behavior. Hence, they don’t know any better, they subconsciously became the servants of the ‘shadow called lie’.

Or, there’s another extreme where people simply don’t care, they became totally numb. Or, they choose to lie out of some compulsive habit that gives them a sense of authority and power. I bet there are endless reasons why people lie. That’s why it’s the intention behind the lie that counts and the main thing worth focusing on.

There are all sorts of people in this world, extremes and everything in between. There are people who represent honesty, stability, truthful, authentic, aware, noble hearts – and there are those who are crumbling, patched up, deceitful liars with crocked, and selfish intentions. The more one oscillates towards the latter end of the spectrum the more energy and time they have to spend to upkeep their lies, to fix things, patch it up, while having to continuously feed their lies hungry shadow. It has the power to corrupt their minds, consume them, turn them into a slave of an addiction. Good news is, that everything is reversible, but it does require hard & arduous work. The question is, how much energy, time, space have you got left in your life and do you really want to spend it all on fixing things? Be wise, chose well.

What about you?

Have you built any fragments of your personality that is based on crooked intentions, where you hide behind your lies, deceits, or manipulation? Try and identify which part – if there is such a part. Is it in your relationship to your partner, to parents, relatives, certain people or particular friends, to authority, colleagues, to yourself, with regards to your health, work, eating habits, when trying to impress others, etc.? Yes, you can be fooling yourself directly as well.

Looking in the past I had a strong urge to be accepted by people. I tried to impress upon – the more I tried to conform to various expectations and standards, the more I failed. I was oozing out the lack of authenticity, and above all I was deceiving myself about being something or someone I was not. Little did I know that I didn’t have to try, because I was special just the way I was. The same way as you are special & precious, just the way you are. They eyes can see, the ears can hear, the nose can smell, the tongue can taste, the skin can sense, but the heart – the heart simply knows.  

One thing you can take away in case you struggle with trust. You can trust anyone according to their level of consciousness at any given time. However, know that may change. Also know, that your assessment depends upon your level of consciousness and your creative force at any given time. Hence, know who you are, be and remain who you are, love yourself and you will never struggle knowing the other – the other – the most accurate mirror reflection of who you are in your life.   

I hope I was able to shed some light on this particular wide spread phenomenon from a slightly different angle. I certainly taught myself a lot, pondering about this topic while writing this ubiquitous piece.   

When your intentions are pure and come from the heart, there’s no need to hide, or worry about. It’s what matters in any relationship – the depth and the level of your authenticity and transparency. The place & space where you are love and not just a feeling, or recollection or memory of love.

Developing your ability to recognize the intention behind words is something you can bring to your attention. When it slips into your awareness it becomes a useful communication tool that provides valuable insights – just in case it’s time to clear the space with kind intervention and compassionate inquiry… 😊

…with love ❤️