Dependence vs Independence

Freedom loving, mighty tree

What does it mean to be independent and what is the value of dependence? Independence gives the ability to make certain choices. It means one is fee from outside control, not depending on another’s authority, livelihood, or support. To what extent though? What about being independent from certain habits and the influence of your mind – particularly when it no longer serves you well? Independence is also comparative; it depends what we are comparing our current state of being to? I’ve been thinking about this a lot and I’m not sure there is a state of being totally independent. It would imply that we live in isolation from everything and everyone else– no ecosystem, no food, no sleep, no air. It means we no longer exist.

Every organism in nature depends on few other organisms and their ecosystem to survive and thrive. Our bodies depend on the food provided by nature. The food we eat is brought to our plates, thanks to the effort of multiple processes and hands. We depend on the air that We breath, the oxygen generated by trees and marine plants in the ocean. We need clean drinking water to survive, and a peace of mind to sharpen our senses, so we can properly function in our daily lives. If it wasn’t for millions of tinny organisms living in our bodies, depending on each other and our composed mind We would not be alive.

When you depend on somebody in your life, when your dependence is reciprocated, you are also giving each other the opportunity to be dependable, so you can deepen your trust and improve the quality of your relationship.

On the other hand, what happens when one becomes obsessed with the badge of independence – is there something you are trying to prove to others in your life and if so – what is it and why? What is your opportunity cost and what do you gain if you continue this game?

Every experience in life comes to an end, but the source of the one who is experiencing all this can never be taken away. That which can never end, simply returns back to the source, until it is needed again. As many times as necessary until you finally realize you have always been here. It was all just a dream of the dreamer who dreams it all. Until the moment you wake up and see it for what it is – a dream and you are the creator.

Being humble, being grateful for being alive, here and now, for having been gifted this unique opportunity to play with your beloved ones, to express yourself, to learn how to flow like a river. To know that You are held by Earth’s gravity, no matter what. 

To be able to step outside your comfort zone that limits your full potential. Inching out, bit by bit, until you leave what serves you no more behind. Self-imposed limitations, ignorance, criticism, arrogance, resentments, sadness, fear of the unknown. 

Until you finally get a sense of real freedom, realizing that all this time You were being held and supported by so many caring hands, and loving hearts. Those that surround you those that came before you, those that are not even yet born. 

In peace, with joy, and sweet harmony! And if you find yourself waving the freedom flag again, which is likely to happen, just remind yourself to go back to square one. It’s ok to say yes, to be held and to hold, to be part of the flow and to trust.

I am held by the gravity on Earth, no matter what. Mother Nature provides enough for all of her children’s needs, I am her kin. I am a part of the infinite whole. No one can take what really matters away. I am being held and supported by many caring hands and loving hearts. Those that surround me, those that came before me, those that are not yet even born. I am supported by life itself.

Learnings from Pain and Suffering

We all have our own unique perception of our unique experiences in life. Stories I write come from my experience.

I am trying to understand why so many people who have experienced a lot of pain and suffering continue paying it forward and allowing their pain and suffering to spread through them – onto others.

Perhaps some people still carry a lot of pain, and they’re simply trying to lighten up their own burden? Being alive, we share what we are -and can can only spread and share what we carry inside.

I can clearly see a distinction between the actions of individuals who have brought their pain and suffering to their awareness and stopped the spread, and the reactions of those who still haven’t, yet are on the way.

Sometimes they simply didn’t have a chance to do so. Life has not yet afforded them with enough space for self-reflection. They were too busy, existential needs were more important. And eventually, pain and suffering trickled down so deep that even when they would have the required time and space, they could no longer see it, reach it. The deeper our pains and sufferings slip in, the older we get, the harder it is to shake it up and bring it up to the surface, where we can face it. It takes a lot – sometimes an accident, a burnout, or a disease such as cancer or a stroke, paralysis, and sometimes death itself. That’s a difficult way to go.

Even if someone else is able to see how much you struggle inside and wants to help you, while you still have a chance, no one can change your. Unless you are ready to do so. One can only fully accept you as you are, love you, stand by your side, nudge you, support you, show you the way, the door, hoping you will see that door and walk through. Yet, to walk you have to be ready and make a first step.

Environment we grow up in paints our reality, hence, it is important to put things into perspective and include the historical and cultural views – among many others.

In addition to the country where you grew up, if either of your parents have experienced being repressed when they were children, there’s a good chance you carry the legacy of repression, of some sort. Important to add, it’s not their fault, there’s no one to blame here. They simply inherited certain behaviour patterns from their parents and probably never had a chance to contemplate about it and get over it.

For example, the wounds inflicted by horrors of war can last for decades. The second world war ended in 1945 – that is over 80 years ago. However, the pain and suffering inflicted upon people did not yet come to an end. And the history repeats. Just when the younger generations might have healed or began healing the wounds they inherited from their parent and grandparents, the bombing starts again.

Anger & aggression cause damage and should not have a place in anyone’s home – in the ideal world. But that’s not the world we live in and sometimes we just have to learn how to deal with the consequences and reverse those negative impacts that might have happened while we were children. In order to heal and end this perpetual infliction.

The power of the fierce soul continues shining through, it resists being taken over, and is rising all over again. Just like the sun; just like Phoenix rising from the ashes. Emerging more powerful, smarter, and stronger. It’s all a matter of time.