I want to dive deeper into trust.
What does trust mean to me? Where do I stand when it comes to trust? Why do I even think about trust?
Who am I not to have trust when our own existence is the embodiment of trust itself? Why do I sometimes behave like Charlie Brown than?
I suppose it depends on the level of connection I have with myself, at any given time, which may fluctuate. You know the blank canvas analogy I used in “Blowing Air Bubbles” post?
It’s all connected. The busier that canvas, the less empty space we afford ourselves to have, the more thoughts we generate and process. The nature, velocity, and frequency of thoughts indicates how blank or busy my state of beingness is. That’s a useful indicator.
Here’s where meditation comes handy. When you start meditating it may be a challenging affair at first. It really depends from one person to another. It begins as an affair between you and your monkey mind. Monkey mind, simply because monkeys like to jump around. When dealing with the mind one has to be patient, else it can backfire and make things worse.
To start with, you simply close or half close your eyes and start observing – whatever goes on in you mind, without any interference. Try not to generate new thoughts based on already existing thoughts. Simply watching, all those thoughts that come and go. After some time – days, months, perhaps years of daily practice – you get to a stage when there are less and less thoughts. At some point there is nothing more to be observed. You may still be aware of your breath, but your mind activity disappears. No matter how many years of ardent dedication and discipline it takes – which is unique to each individual – I assure you, it’s all worth it at the end.
All those thoughts that cause worries, doubts, fears, (etc) that once bothered you start disappearing, there’s complete surrender and trust, because all that is required is done for you automatically. All that matters to keep you alive, every moment of your day. Your breathing happens automatically, your heart beats on its own, body functions exactly how it should…all those vital functions without any input from your wonderful and useful mind. It still converts the impulses your body sends for you to respond. For example, you get hungry, you have to go and wee, feeling cold, getting sleepy. All the essential communication happens between your body and your cognitive mind. So beautifully and perfectly orchestrated.
Tuned to perfection… when you’re still a child 🙂
What happens next… nature takes its course. We start growing up, absorbing the world around us – we feed ourselves with different thoughts and food.
The quality of both determines our level of connection or disconnection to our body. Which is essential in every single aspect of our lives. You know the phrase… as within so without.
Your current situation in life mirrors the relationship you have developed to yourself and your body. I say developed, because that’s what we actively do, day in, day out. Every minute, every hour. Apart from when we sleep, but that’s a whole new topic, I will not go into now.
You don’t need lots of external mending, fixing. All we need is a healthy, balanced relationship with our own best body buddy. With ourselves. In case the disconnect that has already happened is very big, we may need some help, to get us back on track so we can continue with the healing process ourselves.
When you tune in and start reading your body, your mind, when there’s enough gap in your thought process that allows you to have that access, it also offers you the required insight.
Hence the importance of meditation. I can’t emphasize it enough. That simple state of beingness, when all you have to do is sit somewhere comfortably, undisturbed, with your eyes half or fully closed. That’s the end of all what you have to do. From there on, you drop doing and you start being. Peace surrounds you; time disappears, all chitter chatter gone.
And when you resume back to doing, you get access to so much more clarity; you simply know. That is the foundation of your trust which is, determined by the level of clarity your mind affords you. Being able to trust life, trust the existence.
Not some blind trust that comes from a confused state of mind or a secondary source. A conclusion you derive based on your emotional state of e.g., fear, anger, infatuations, sadness, over zealous happiness. Or something someone tells you, something you read or hear. Don’t even trust what I say. What I say is my truth, right here, right now. And you have no ideas what my level of consciousness is at the time being when I produce this writing and share my thoughts. My mind is not yet 100% composed. Hence, I have to go back and re-read what I write many times and make necessary amends.
Everybody should start tasting their own truth and begin realizing where they are on their journey. To learn to know when to trust your judgements and when not. To take full responsibility for your choices and never to blame anyone – saying: “you betrayed my trust.” There is no such thing, because everyone acts according to their level of consciousness. Including you.
I love the saying I heard a long time ago: “Sure you can trust people. You can trust everyone, based on their level of consciousness at any given time.”
Whoever said that should have added the following line (I’m quite sure they knew though): “However, the accuracy of that depends on your level of consciousness at any given time.” How else can you assess somebody else’s level of consciousness and perceive their truth, if not based on your observation and state of mind?
Both through the observer, the observed, and the process of observation. Further down the line, as you progress on your path, you will realize that even the observer and the observed have to disappear. But we’re not yet there.
As you read these lines and connect to my thoughts, if it resonates with you, if you feel that sensation deep inside, simply, take courage and try it on your own. It doesn’t cost a dime.
For me, trust is a state of being, not doing.
I love life with all my heart, I am life, hence I honor and respect my body. Without my best body buddy, I would not have the chance to experience this exquisite affair life affords me every single moment of my existence on this beautiful planet Earth.
This relationship is very profound. There are many emotions I feel as I write these lines… the overwhelming warm sensation in my heart, tears in my eyes and the snotty nose… aaayyy where are those pesky tissues when I need them most.
I have much gratitude in my heart; I feel very grateful to life. There’s also a residue of sadness because I did not always respect life as I do today. I abused my body too much. But it’s ok, because I know I always did the best I could, even, when at times, I didn’t know there was a different way. I am here today, and that’s what matters. Right here, right now. In a much better place where I used to be and I have learned to be.
That’s why I want to share my journey with you, because, if you too are finding your way in this world, you know well it can sometimes be challenging, confusing, and lonely. Don’t be shy to ask for help if you do feel that way; there are so many ways out there that can support you on your journey. Find the way that resonates with the unique you. The whole universe is out there to support you. Because you are life itself.
Trust life, learn to trust yourself. Fall in love with life. Nothing and nobody else is needed in this love affair but you. And then, you might realize that everything and everyone else becomes like an icing on the cake. Scrumptiously delicious, spicing up your everyday. Joie de vivre!!!
On that note, I let you be.
May you be in peaceful joy.
Om Shanti Shanti Shanti Om.