I want to dive deep into trust. I need to reconnect to my inner trust.
What does trust mean to me? Where do I stand when it comes to trust? Why am I thinking about trust? Do I struggle with trust?
I remind myself, why should I not have trust when our existence is the embodiment of trust itself? Why do I than sometimes behave like Charlie Brown?
I came to realize my level of trust depends on the level of disconnect I have with myself, at any given time, which seems to be always changing. Like the blank canvas analogy, I used in the “Blowing Air Bubbles” post.
There is a connection; the more thoughts I tend to generate and process, the less empty space I afford myself to have, the busier that canvas. The nature, velocity, and frequency of thoughts indicates how blank or busy my state of beingness is. It’s a useful indicator.
Here’s why meditation plays a vital role. When you first attempt to meditate it may be a challenging endeavor to start with. It depends from one person to another. It begins as an affair between you and the so called ‘monkey’ mind. Monkey mind needs to be managed patiently, it may need some training and raining in. To start with, you simply close your eyes and begin observing any sensations going on in your body, any thoughts that come to your mind. Simply observing, like gazing towards the sky, watching as the passing clouds go by. After some time – days, months, perhaps years of daily practice, at some point on this journey one usually gets to a stage when there’s nothing more to be observed. Perhaps a cloud puff here and there. Your mind becomes an empty bucket, full of incredible space. How long will that take? That’s unique to each individual, each person has their own journey, ups and downs. It all happens in their own perfect time.
As it happens, you will still be aware of your breath, but your mind activity will subside, significantly. No matter how many years of ardent dedication, patience, and discipline it takes, I assure you, anything that increases the level of your peace of mind is worth the effort.
All the worries that used to pull you down become less prevalent, there’s more surrender and trust. You realize that all that is required for you to live this beautiful life is done for you automatically. All that matters to keep you alive every moment of your day. Your breathing happens without having to think about, your heart beats on its own, body functions exactly as it should…all the vital functions operate without any input from your wonderful and useful mind. Mind is useful for translating the impulses of your body, so you can respond. You get hungry, you have to wee, you feel cold, get sleepy. All the essential communication happens between your body and your cognitive mind. So beautifully and harmoniously orchestrated. All you need to do is respond. And respond we do.
All perfectly tuned in… even more during our childhood phase. As we start growing up, we absorb the world around us – we feed ourselves with different thoughts, emotions, information, food. We develop habits, we accumulate all sorts of memories.
Your current situation in life mirrors the relationship you have developed to yourself and to your body. I say developed, because that’s what we do, day in, day out. Every minute, every hour.
If we feel slightly out of balance, we need to reconnect to our bodies, to ourselves. In case the disconnect is very big, we may need some help, to get us back on track so we can continue with the healing process ourselves.
It’s important to pause and tune in, check our body sensations and our thoughts. When there’s enough gap in our thought process, we may get the required insights and direction on what to do next, how to best move on.
Hence the importance of meditation. I can’t emphasize it enough. That simple state of beingness, when all you have to do is sit somewhere comfortably, undisturbed, with your eyes half or fully closed. That’s all you have to do. From there on, you drop doing and you start being. Peace surrounds you; time disappears, all chitter chatter gone.
And when you resume back to doing, you get access to so much more clarity; you simply know. That is the foundation of your trust. Trusting life, trusting existence.
Not some blind trust that comes from a secondary source – something someone tells you, something you read or hear. Don’t even trust what I say. Because what I say is my truth, right here, right now. Everybody should start listening and honing their voice of truth.
As you read these lines and connect to my thoughts, and if it resonates with you, if you feel that sensation deep inside, simply, take courage and try it on your own. It doesn’t cost a dime.
For me, trust is a state of being, not doing.
I love life with all my heart, I am life, hence I honor and respect my body. Without my best body buddy, I would not have the chance to experience this exquisite affair life affords me every single moment of my existence on this beautiful planet Earth.
This relationship is very profound. There are many emotions I feel as I write these lines… the overwhelming warm sensation in my heart, at times I get teary eyes.
I feel very grateful to life. There’s also a residue of sadness because I did not always respect life as I do today. But it’s ok, because I know I always did the best I could, even, when at times, I didn’t know there was a different way. I am here today, and that’s what matters. Right here, right now.
That’s why I want to share my journey with you, because, if you too are finding your way in this world, you know well it can sometimes be challenging, confusing, and lonely. Don’t be shy to ask for help if you do feel that way; there are so many ways out there that can support you on your journey. Find the way that resonates with the unique you. The whole universe is out there to support you. Because you are life itself.
Trust life, trust yourself. Fall in love with life. Nothing and nobody else is needed in this love affair but you. And then, you might realize that everything and everyone else becomes like icing on the cake. Scrumptiously delicious, spicing up your day. Joie de vivre!!!
On that note, I let you be.
May you be in peaceful joy.
Om Shanti Shanti Shanti Om.
