Love or Infatuation?

Rose and a bee

Why love and why now?  

“Artist, poets, musicians, writers, we all need our muse. Thank You are my secret muse, who inspires me on this journey.”

I speak a few different languages and I consider myself fortunate to be able to notice subtle nuances in various expressions when referred to in English, German, Italian, Spanish, Slovenian, Croatian.

English, although currently the most widely spoken language worldwide, isn’t always the most suitable and accurate one when describing certain expressions.

An example that strikes me over and over again is the term “falling in love“. To my mind, it just doesn’t make sense, it’s a contradiction in terms.

I say to myself – ahhh, silly girl… love is love. And words,… what does it matter when it comes to love? This means I could stop right now. However, to satisfy my mind, to spill it all out, I will go on…

Spanish: enamorarse
Italian: innamorarsi
Slovenian, Croatian, Serbian: zaljubiti se
German: verlieben
Russian: vlyublyat’sya

English – fall in love. Same in French: tomber amoureux. “What?” Can’t we coin a better word? How about something like to en-love, or to envelope myself with you’?

How can I fall in love when it is love that penetrates our beingness and gives us wings to fly, to rise above?
How can we say fall in love when our whole body starts throbbing, when heart starts fluttering, our spirit flying, when our beingness gets exalted, in bliss?

When in love, I don’t think I have fallen anywhere, unless I got clumsy when intoxicated with love and tripped over a stump. Or that moment, when without any hesitation I surrendered to love, and we became the cosmic dancers, indulging in the affairs of love.

Have you ever experienced that feeling when you’re drawn towards someone, who happens to be a compatible catalyst for you to experience something new. Some strange magnetism happens and at the time, you don’t know what it is. Is it the universe showing you the way, or nature exercising her rein? Is it love or infatuation driven by carnal desires? When it happens it’s difficult to think while being swept off our feet, almost blinded, and have no ideas what’s going on.

People become attracted to each other, stories begin to weave through one another, paths intertwine. So, when you think you have suddenly “fallen in love”, take a few moments and think twice, if only you can. There’s a good chance nature may be trying to lure you in her web of illusion. One can easily get swayed; in fact, many of us do.

There are many beautiful love stories out there, full of wonderful inspiring relationships. But there are also examples when falling in love becomes a quest, an obsession, turning into a need of possession due to innermost insecurities of the conquistador. Someone who is trying to compensate for something they think they once had but lost, and wanting to have that again. If anything comes out of such quest, it often leads to an unhealthy relationship and unhappy marriage.

Have you ever tried catching a fish with your bare hands? The tighter you squeeze the slippy, freedom loving fish, the faster it will slip away. You may even try to fool a fish with a hand-tied fly, only to realize it was never yours to behold. You’re better off letting the fish go. One day, the fish may simply come to you, on its own. That day when you become patient and humble enough to let go and surrender.

Don’t be fooled by thinking you can gain access to that perpetual abundant flow, the sweetness that is unlike anything else you have ever tasted, by clinging to someone you think you have ‘fallen in love’ with. Many have tried, over and over again, with no long-lasting success, only to end up tasting the bitterness of misery. Or better – by realizing the truth they once couldn’t see; as if they were spell bound. Everything is possible.

The miserable lot – they usually get all crippled, shriveled up like old prunes, and scared to open their hearts and love again, thinking “c’est no possible.” Life turns into a drama. They might have watched too many TV shows, got obsessed with nonsensical scripted love stories, and read too many romance novels that mostly sell infatuation. Perhaps they had poor examples to aspire to, while growing up. Or, they ended up experiencing too many unpleasant events in their childhood, not feeling they too were loved, and their little big hearts got hurt. They got lost on their way. Everything is possible.

Despite all our exclusive promises we make to someone, love remains nonexclusive. You cannot know who will kindle your spark next, and when it will happen again. So, when it happens again, don’t be shy and deny it; also don’t feel guilty about it. Acknowledge it and be grateful, even if you choose to say and do nothing, but smile.

When you see a beautiful flower, when it moves you from within – you can admire that flower, you can smell it – you don’t have to pick it. Enjoy her essence, let it be, thank the universe for the precious gift you have received, and smile again. Whatever your choice, strive to be the noble version of your self. Show your inner most respect to the feminine in all its forms on Earth – respect the Shakti. Try your best not to abuse the sacred life giving power only to satisfy your selfish desires that offer momentary satisfaction.

Perhaps, just perhaps the person who coined the term “falling in love” had one, or a few unpleasant experiences. I’m only speculating.

Apart from “falling in order to rise”, there is no such thing as “falling” in love. We rise in love. We merge, we fuse in love, we surrender to love, we soak in love, we lose ourselves to love, we become love. Perhaps the ego falls and the soul rises – could this be the reason for coining the term fall in love? I wonder.

Love is everywhere, like the air, overflowing in abundance, available to us all, to reach, to connect, to quench our inexhaustible thirst. You don’t always need another human being to feel love. Sure, it alters the experience, but there are so many venues and expressions where you can taste love. Even on your own, within. Love makes this world go round. It’s woven in the very fabric of existence.

When you go out for a walk, in nature, do you ever hear and notice bees buzzing in a flower? Have you ever seen their crazy dance, getting all intoxicated, and totally blissed out? Next time you notice, make sure you don’t disturb them; they get very pissed off if you do. 😇

I hope you realized by now that you cannot attain love. Love is unattainable because it has always been there. You knew that, when you were a child, but got distracted and sidetracked when you started growing up. Buzz, buzz, it’s time to wake up; so you can fall – only to rise again. Sun plays this game all the time – or so it appears.

Love is the glue that keeps everything together. You, me, the bees, and the flowers. Without love, there’s no life. Without life, there is no love. Loving life is living love, because you have a heart that beats inside your chest. And for as long as you can sense that beat, you are the embodiment of love and life itself.

Your body can fall when your heart beats no more, but your spirit will rise, with all your love, showering the whole existence. Blessing all that has ever been, all there is, and all that is yet to be.

Isn’t that so, sweet, beloved one… A fresh perspective that hopefully, tingles your subatomic particles. I smile and I thank the universe for having me, for showing me the way.

I got inspired to weave this piece together with a taste of my own love affair with life. From many different perspectives and state of beingness. Finally, it feels nice. 😊

I came to understand why it is said “Fall in Love” – because it’s true. I have fallen in love, too many times, instead of staying in love, binge in love, rising in love and most importantly, staying there – permanently. It’s ok, I accept my shortcomings and I have learned my lesson… (6th August 2022)

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