Recent events in Ukraine have triggered a few emotions inside me. I was growing up in former Yugoslavia in the nineties, with the war raging in the Balkans. Although I was among the lucky ones who lived in Slovenia where war impacts were minimal, the images I see on the news still have the potency to stir up unpleasant emotions. It brings up confusion about this world and the sanctity of life on earth.
I ask myself, how is this even possible in 2022?
Damage caused in one’s childhood is all-inclusive – it affects us all and it can have life-lasting consequences if not addressed and healed. Some of the consequences include fear, lack of trust, panic, and insecurity, to name a few. If triggered later in life, a person can start behaving irrationally. Implications can be detrimental, have long-lasting consequences and they can reinforce already-established wounds cased by childhood trauma.
The whole saga appears like a viscous circle, catch-22. How can we escape this loop?
Before we are allowed to independently drive a car we’re expected to take lessons and we must pass the driving test. Wouldn’t it be equally important to equip people with equally if not more important knowledge before starting a romantic relationship, and deciding to have a family and children? This kind of knowledge can help us recognize our imbalances and tranck our behavioural patterns. Learning how different patterns affect our behavior we start realizing how to best moderate and manage our emotional states so we don’t pass them on to our children. Examples of such early adversity include child abuse and neglect, exposure to violence, and family economic hardship.
There are exceptions though– educational environments such as Waldorf, Montessori, Steiner, and similar, more progressive schools that equip children with emotional intelligence and set them up for a better future.
We can achieve a significant shift with a simple compassionate inquiry. I’ll dive more into this area and what could be done in one of my following posts.
By Gabor Mate: “All of our suffering comes from the avoidance of truth. It’s truth that liberates. People have to experience the truth of themselves within themselves.”
Experience the truth and the truth will liberate you
“Only when compassion is present will people allow themselves to see the truth.” A.H. Almaas
Readings and reference points
Thomas, M. S., Crosby, S., & Vanderhaar, J. (2019). Trauma-Informed Practices in Schools Across Two Decades: An Interdisciplinary Review of Research. Review of Research in Education, 43(1), 422–452. https://doi.org/10.3102/0091732×18821123
