Life is a journey of self-discovery
Life is a mystery and we are all lifelong lovers
As human beings we owe it to the life to enjoy our lives, to express our deeper most desires and to follow our hearts.
Well, unless you’re more of a yogi type, than you’ll most likely remain alert, more disciplined, trying not to create new desires.
I don’t claim to know how anyone should lead their life. I am simply trying to figure out mine, as I go along, share what I see, learn, and unlearn.
My life has been one big mystery. I would fail if I was trying to grasp it with my logical mind full of concepts and particular ways of perception influenced by the environment my thinking was shaped by.
I have come a long way and it hasn’t always been easy sailing. Just as sailing isn’t. The ocean, just like life, is full of surprises. I had to work quite hard to get to this place of calm waters in my current fairy like bay.
There have been many events that mark various stages of my personal progress. One of most notable one happened when I went to Costa Rica to attend a one week Wisdom & Wellbeing course focusing on recognizing and healing childhood trauma.
There were 60 of us, from all walks of life, of all different ages, shades, and experiences. One thing we had in common. We were all there to heal our wounds, by trying to recognize and reach our innermost struggles and let them go.
As human beings we are bound to be carriers of all sorts of memories, experiences, emotions. We carry visible and invisible scars, deep ones, shallow ones, all kinds that get triggered at various times in our every day lives. As Bessel puts it so profoundly, body keeps a score. Or Gabor’s analogy of being in the realm of hungry ghosts. Both of these analogies speak to me… and boy, have I counted my scores and have I fattened those greedy ghosts. No more…
Back to Pura Vida… I had a time of my life; it felt even more so after 2 years of “Covidly” restrained lifestyle. I met more people in a week than I have in the span of 2 years together. First few days were quite overwhelming, a sensory overload, but the lush nature, the ocean, the winds, the birds, and the howler monkeys helped to diffuse it all and make it perfectly manageable. I have to add to that list the most delicious food, full of life/prana and goodness. We were nourished inside out.
It felt like I was spending my time in heaven, being continuously swept off my feet by the ocean waves. I could hear the ocean and even feel the wave sensation while lying in my cabin at the end of each and very special day.
I have met a number of kindred spirits, for which I am incredibly grateful. You truly are the spirits that made the experience even more magical. Cheeky Diana banana, beautiful Meghan, Mitch dancing on the beach, fierce Kelsey, sweet Cougar, moonstone Matt, radiant Betty, Vanessa, Sharon and her baby boy, Ilonka, Georgiana, Mark, Jenni, Jemma, Laila, Faizal, Aimee, Jill, Stewart, Aslahan, and so many more. And Jane, my morning ocean goddess that showed me the safe way to swim. Both of us there, every morning, saluting the sun, being infused with the ocean magic that’s created every single night while we’re asleep.
Having swam my heart out in the morning I would then find a rock, just by the water, sit down, close my eyes, become the sound of the ocean music, become that unique scent carried by the waves that touch my feet as I begin to melt. I even caught the waves of Prabhu Miten’s song… “There is so much magnificence, near the ocean, waves are coming in, waves are coming in…”
It’s hard to put it in words. Just like I cannot fully convey the deliciousness of most scrumptious ice-cream, because you have to lick it yourself. Though, I can walk up that hill, get the ice-cream, hoping it won’t melt too much by the time I return, and hand over the experience directly into your hands, so you may feel the joy my heart is bursting to share.
Sometimes it’s hard to understand why we do certain things, they make no-sense. I do it, simply, because I can. I have a choice and I choose to live well and if I can extend that even for a smidgen, I get such a kick. To see that spark of joy in people I can share that with. It magnifies my sparks, turning them into lightning, sometimes so much so, that the whole body begins to tremble and I have to calm down to come back to my senses.
There is so much energy available out there, at all times, if only we have the eyes to see and the heart open enough to receive.
A single, most unexpected and unusual peck between a Sloth and a Cougar can send you flying out in space. Pure joy of cosmic madness, no magic mushrooms required.
Or hanging out in the hot tidal pools with your buddies, playing in the waves… instead of attending afternoon lessons. Just because we can, and because we have a choice.
I only have to remember, connect to those moments, and I feel my heart beating, being right there, overflowing with all sorts of emotions. Joy, happiness, fear, sadness, anger, love. Above all, love for this creation, for the opportunities, for my fellow travelers. For the song of howler monkeys walking me up to another glorious day, even if as early as 4am. Heart was full of joy, all I could do was smile.
I am very fortunate to be able to afford such adventures. To have a home, which is as precious as can be, and my buddy that means a world to me. Having that in my heart while away adds 1/2 of the magic I am able to experience. I know that very well, having ventured out quite a lot before. Having a loving, peaceful home to return to, is half of the equation.
Which brings me nicely back to our workshop, diving into childhood traumas that brought up lots of shit we had to face and deal with. Each and every one of us in our own unique way, with healing tears that helped to wash it all away. And although that precious week is now weeks behind, the journey continues and I will never be the same again.
Something has shifted in me, profoundly. I have found a part of me that was always there, yet invisible, unreachable to me for most of my life. A part of me that’s been repressed for so long that I no longer knew it existed.
I have found my voice. The rest is history.
I am grateful to you all, my heart starts swelling up, my eyes get moist. You are all part of my journey and I thank you, for all I was able to give and was received and for all I was able to receive from you. I only wish I could have held you in my arms a few moments more.
May our journeys be forever blessed. And may we meet again to repeat the cosmic dance, to play like children, and continue being the joy for the whole wide universe to behold.